约翰·斯坦贝克《珍珠》 -英语翻译教程-中英双语赏析

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《珍珠》是诺贝尔文学奖获得者美国现代著名作家约翰·斯坦贝克的作品,是根据墨西哥民间故事改写的一部优秀小说。一对贫穷的印第安年轻夫妻采到一颗稀世珍珠,他们由此产生了朴素、单纯的遐想,却勾起了城里各色人等的种种邪念。他们奋起反抗,最后以抛掉珍珠来重新求得安宁与纯真。这里,美与丑、善与恶的尖锐对比激起人们返璞归真的愿望。

 

A town is a thing like a colonial animal. A town has a nervous system and a head and shoulders and feet. A town is a thing separate from all other towns, so that there are no two towns alike. And a town has a whole emotion. How news travels through a town is a mystery not easily to be solved. News seems to move faster than small boys can scramble and dart to tell it, faster than women can call it over the fences.

 

投稿译文:有一个镇像块殖民地。有一个镇体制森严,有统治者,官员和底层民众之分。有一个镇与众不同,独一无二。而有一个镇上,镇民们的情绪都一样。消息如何传到一个镇上的,这是一个难以解答的谜题。而且传播消息的速度快得惊人,比奔走卖报的小男孩传得还要快,比妇女间隔墙相传还要快。

 

原创译文:城镇就像群居动物,拥有神经系统,有头有脚,还有肩膀。城镇与众不同,没有两个完全相同的城镇。城镇拥有喜怒哀乐。消息如何在城镇传播开来,我们无从得知。消息传播迅速,比奔走相告的小孩更快,比七嘴八舌的妇女更快。

 

A town is a thing like a colonial animal. 这里的colonial名词形式是colony,英义是a group of plants or animals that live together or grow in the same place,表示 (同地生长的植物或动物)群,群体,集落,比如a colony of ants 蚁群 ,a bird colony 鸟群 。投稿译文「有一个镇像块殖民地」,那animal去哪儿了呢?colonial animal这里的重点应该是animal,毕竟colonial只是形容词修饰animal,主次不分。

 

A town has a nervous system and a head and shoulders and feet. 投稿译文「有一个镇体制森严,有统治者,官员和底层民众之分」,这句话没有一个生词,哪怕是初中生直译也不至于错得这么离谱,投稿者脑补太多,胡编乱造。

 

a town has a whole emotion.投稿译文「镇民们的情绪都一样」,a whole emotion字面意思「什么情绪都有」,处理成「喜怒哀乐」,投稿者是怎么把whole理解成「一样」的?简直离谱。

 

scramble and dart to tell it译成「奔走卖报」,请问「卖报」从何而来?修改成「奔走相告」

 

call it over the fences译为「隔墙相传」,明显受到原文束缚,「隔墙有耳」「口口相传」本是固定搭配的成语,不要自己随便乱造四字格。联系上下文,这里作者想表达的是「消息传播迅速」,妇女八卦,因此我将其处理为「七嘴八舌」,欢迎在评论区提出其他想法。

 

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Before Kino and Juana and the other fishers had come to Kino’s brush house, the nerves of the town were pulsing and vibrating with the news——Kino had found the Pearl of the World. Before panting little boys could strangle out the words, their mothers knew it. The news swept on past the brush houses, and it washed in a foaming wave into the town of stone and plaster. It came to the priest walking in his garden, and it put a thoughtful look in his eyes and a memory of certain repairs necessary to the church. He wondered what the pearl would be worth. And he wondered whether he had baptized Kino’s baby, or married him for that matter. The news came to the shopkeepers, and they looked at men’s clothes that had not sold so well.

投稿译文:在奇诺 、朱尔娜和其他渔民来到奇诺的茅草房之前,奇诺找到了珍珠世界这个消息,让镇上的人们心跳加快,激动不已。消息传遍了个个茅草屋,就泡沫浪花,涌入这个小镇的石头灰泥房,还没等到气喘吁吁的小孩把话说清楚,母亲们就知道这条消息了。在花园里散步的牧师得知这条消息后,神情忧郁,想起要修缮的教堂。他想知道珍珠值多少钱,他曾经有没有给奇诺这个小孩做过洗礼,又或者他是否为奇诺主持过婚姻大事。商店店员们知道了这条消息,看了看卖得不是很好的男士服装。

 

原创译文:奇诺、朱安娜和其他渔夫还没来到奇诺的茅草屋,奇诺发现稀世珍珠的消息已在镇上传播开来,人们心潮澎湃,激动不已。小孩气喘吁吁,还没来得及说完整句话,母亲已经得知消息。消息如同海水,泛着泡沫,冲进穷人的茅草屋,冲进富人的砖瓦房。消息传到牧师那儿,他正在花园中散步,眼神深邃,思考着是时候修缮教堂了,盘算着珍珠到底价值多少,回忆着是否为奇诺的孩子洗礼过,是否为他主持过婚礼。消息传到服装店主那儿,他们看着那些销量惨淡的男装。

 

the Pearl of the World 投稿者译为「珍珠世界」,可以改成「世界级珍珠」或者「稀世珍珠」

 

The news swept on past the brush houses, and it washed in a foaming wave into the town of stone and plaster.这句话难度较大,涉及到隐喻,brush houses 表示穷人用树枝搭建的住所,the town of stone and plaster 表示有钱人所住的砖瓦房,两相对比,突出了消息传播范围之广。

 

The news came to……这是英语中典型的无灵主语,新概念3第1课「逃遁的美洲狮」里有一句When reports came into London Zoo that a wild puma had been spotted forty-five miles south of London, they were not taken seriously. 伦敦动物园接到报告说,在伦敦以南45英里处发现一只美洲狮时,这些报告并没有受到重视。

 

clothes that had not sold so well意思很简单,但是投稿译文过于口语化「卖得不是很好的男士服装」,修改为「销量惨淡的男装」

 

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The news came to the doctor where he sat with a woman whose illness was age, though neither she nor the doctor would admit it. And when it was made plain who Kino was, the doctor grew stern and judicious at the same time, “He is a client of mine,” the doctor said. “I am treating his child for a scorpion sting.” And the doctor’s eyes rolled up a little in their fat hammocks and he thought of Paris. He remembered the room he had lived in there as a great and luxurious place, and he remembered the hard-faced woman who had lived with him as a beautiful and kind girl, although she had been none of these three. The doctor looked past his aged patient and saw himself sitting in a restaurant in Paris and a waiter was just opening a bottle of wine.

投稿译文:正在给一位更年期妇女治病的医生,知道了这条消息,然而他们俩并不相信这消息是真的。当要说清楚其诺的身份时,这位医生也严肃认真了起来,这名医生说:“他是我的一名顾客,我正在给他的儿子治蝎子毒。”此时医生的眼珠在肥大的眼袋里微微的翻滚着,便想到了巴黎。他想起巴黎住的房间,房间宽敞且豪华,他想起了和他同居的女人,那位女人生活优渥,外貌丑陋陋,心地恶毒。这位医生忘了这位上了年纪的病人,想象自己坐在法国的一家餐馆,一位服务员刚刚打开了一瓶葡萄酒。

 

原创译文:消息传到医生那儿,他正在给上了年纪,疾病缠身的妇人看病,两人对此不以为然。然而,医生得知奇诺的身份后,坚定精明地说:“奇诺是我的顾客,他的孩子被蝎子蜇伤,我正在为其治疗。”医生眼袋肥大,眼珠滴溜溜地转着,思绪飘到了巴黎。在他的记忆中,他在巴黎的住处宽敞豪华,与其同居的女人美丽体贴,然而事实并非如此,同居女人相貌丑陋。医生的目光越过老妇人,看见自己坐在巴黎的饭店里,侍者正在为他开酒。

 

whose illness was age不是「更年期」,更年期有专门的名词menopause,这里应该是「因为上了年纪而引起的疾病」

 

the doctor’s eyes rolled up a little in their fat hammocks,这里的fat hammock指的是the doctor’s thick eyelids,投稿译文「眼珠在肥大的眼袋里微微的翻滚着」,两处问题:一句子太长,二不符合中文使用习惯,我们描述某人眼部动作时,不会用「翻滚」这种动词,修改为「眼袋肥大,眼珠滴溜溜地转着」

 

he remembered the hard-faced woman who had lived with him as a beautiful and kind girl, although she had been none of these three.联系上下文,这里remember A as B的内容不是实际发生的内容,只是医生想象中的内容。

 

The doctor looked past his aged patient and saw himself sitting in a restaurant in Paris and a waiter was just opening a bottle of wine.这里looked past his aged patient不是投稿译文「忘记」的意思,而是医生的目光透过眼前的妇人,想到别的事情,也就是「走神」「神游」

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