何志范《乐山龙舟会多姿多彩》 -英语翻译教程-中英双语赏析

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乐山龙舟会多姿多彩

Dragon-Boat Festival at Leshan

何志范

He Zhifiin

 

🔥提示:翻译不可不实,不实则不信;翻译不可太实,太实则不达。一篇中文旅游文章,在描绘某一景点或某一壮观活动场面时,往往文采奕奕,婆娑多姿,华丽词藻娓娓动听,有时甚至贯穿全文。然而我们在阅读英美旅游文章时,这类现象并不多见。此时,译者可根据外国读者的习惯,把中文堆砌的词藻用简洁明快的英文表达出来。适当调整词语,力求保持原作韵味,做到忠而不泥,活而不滥,贵在句练词精。殊不知,过多的修饰语会失之于累赘沉重,译文令人厌读,达不到我们宣传旅游景点的目的,岂非弄巧成拙?本文标题中的“多姿多彩”在英译时省去,就是为了使标题既醒目又简洁,突出中心词。

 

乐山水光山色独特,地理环境优越,素有“绿扬夹岸水平铺”之称,举行龙舟竞渡得天独厚。

Famous for its “tranquil river fringed with rich vegetation”, Leshan in Sichuan Province has the ideal setting for its Dragon-Boat Festival.

🎈第一小段的英译文省掉“水光山色独特,地理环境优越”,也是为了行文简练,以求神似。其实,“绿扬夹岸水平铺”就是省略部分的具体表现。又,be fringed with sth意为“以…作为边缘;周边是…”,例如:Her eyes were large and brown and fringed with incredibly long lashes.(她有一双褐色的大眼睛,睫毛特别长。


 

乐山龙舟会融文化、艺术、经济、旅游、体育为一体,规模宏大,更具地方特色。

The traditional Dragon-Boat Festival, a scene of bustling activity, blends Leshan’s culture, arts, economy, tourism and athletics into a wealth of features.

🎈很多的、大量的 a wealth of…

例句

There’s a wealth of books in the library.

这个图书馆藏书丰富。


 

每年农历五月初五,数十万乐山人民欢庆端午佳节,观赏嘉州风釆。

On the fifth day of the fifth lunar month (early in June) each year, thousands upon thousands of Leshan people gather together along with tourists to celebrate the festival and enjoy the scenic splendor of Jiazhou, Leshan’s ancient name.

🎈农历the lunar month;阳历the solar/western calendar

🎈成千上万的thousands upon thousands of

🎈along with表示“与…一道(又), 连同…一起, 随同…一起”。例如:A bill came along with the package.清单与包裹一并到达。

🎈Leshan’s ancient name是对“Jiazhou”的解释说明,因为上文一直在说乐山,现在突然冒出一个嘉州,容易让读者摸不着头脑。


 

江岸上彩楼林立,彩灯高悬,旌旗飘摇,呈现出一派喜气洋洋的节日场面。

High-rise buildings ornamented with colored lanterns and bright banners stand out along the river banks.

🎈此句中“江岸上彩楼林立”译作了High-rise buildings…。回顾:季羡林的《上海菜市场》中有句是“上海尽有看不够数不清的高楼大厦……Shanghai has countless eye-catching skyscrapers…”,skyscraper的表达也可借鉴。

🎈引人注目,显眼stand out

例句

Every tree, wall and fence stood out against dazzling white fields.

每棵树、每堵墙和每道栅栏都在白得耀眼的田野映衬下十分夺目。

🎈“呈现出一派喜气洋洋的节日场面”省译,可能是考虑到全文的描述对象即为节日场面,也可译出。又,此句和下句分别描写河岸和河面上的景象,译作along the river banks和on the river itself。


 

千姿百态的各式彩龙在江面游弋,舒展着优美的身姿,有的摇头摆尾,风采奕奕;有的喷火吐水,威风八面。

On the river itself, gaily decorated dragon-shaped boats await their challenge, displaying their individual charms to their hearts’ content. One boat wags its head and tail; another spits fire and sprays water.

🎈此段中,译文打破原文的句子排列,用displaying their individual charms to their hearts’ content 来表示群龙在竞赛前各显其能,舒展各自身姿的奕奕风采和八面威风;await their challenge又为龙舟夺标做了铺垫,起了承上启下的作用。


 

信号弹划过上空,龙舟夺标开始了。

As the starter’s gun booms, the boats spring into action.

🎈“夺标开始了”译作spring into action,不但紧扣上句,也与下句的“如箭离弦,顺流而下”的场面呼应。


 

各色各状造型的“蛟龙”如箭离弦,顺流而下,欲争群龙首。

Rows of dragons pull downstream, each striving to take the lead.

🎈此处 pull表示向某一方向移动,downstream则和之前讲过的downstairs类似,有形容词、副词两种词性。又,each striving to take the lead是独立主格结构,其中take the lead译为“带头、为首”。


 

此时,乐曲响彻江面,皮鼓冬冬,铜锣当当,号子高亢。

In rhythm with the competition, wild music clangs across the river, as drums, gongs and horns sound enthusiastically.

🎈“此时”译作in rhythm with the competition,含“与比赛同步的还有…、”之意,要比meanwhile或at the same time紧凑。“乐曲”译wild music,目的是渲染比赛的炽热气氛,以传达原作的神韵。


 

每只龙舟上,身着一色的14名健儿分列两舷。健儿们激浪高歌,狠劲猛划,奋力冲刺;

Seven pairs of athletes on each boat, bright in their team colors, row with tremendous outbursts of strength and chant in unison over the crest of every wave.

🎈“14名健儿分列两舷”巧妙地处理为了Seven pairs of athletes,pair一词即表达了“分列两边”的意思。bright in their team colors同(being) bright in their team colors,对主语状态进一步补充说明,这种情况下being通常省略不写出。“狠劲猛划”译作row with tremendous outbursts of strength,outburst用词准确,指爆发力,符合每下划桨动作肌肉紧绷猛使劲儿的场景。“激浪高歌”译作…over the crest of every wave,crest指波峰,体现了健儿们每分每秒都在奋力前行的精神。“奋力冲刺”未译成,因为“激浪高歌,狠劲猛划”已经含有这层意思了。

 


两岸山呼海啸,滚起阵阵“加油”声。

The river rings with fervent cheers of “Go! Row! Go! Row!” from the banks, to the rhythm of the athletes’ oars.

🎈“加油”译作Go! Row!,符合舟船竞赛实战情景,呼喊声铿锵有力,声韵和谐,给人以如闻其声、似见其形的感受。


 

“千顷水面琉璃滑,百艘龙舟竞争先。”

“The river extends as far as your eyes can see; Hundreds of dragon boats compete in a race for the winner.”

🎈此句意为:广阔的水面像琉璃一般平滑,很多龙舟在水面上竞相追逐。


 

传统的抢鸭子竞赛也是龙舟会上精彩纷呈的项目之一,是白天活动的高潮。

A highlight during this festive occasion is the customary chasing of ducks on the river, the climax of the daytime activity.

🎈今年外长答中外记者会中提到了“新中国外交的重点和亮点(priorities and highlights)”。the climax of the daytime activity是“抢鸭子活动”的同位语。


 

一只只鸭子抛向空中,嘎嘎叫着扑腾到水面。

Quacking ducks are tossed up over the water one after another.

🎈“嘎嘎叫着”由状语或者鸭子发出的动作转换成了ducks的前置定语。

🎈多数情况下,one by one可与one after another替换。不过one by one通常强调的是一次一个,而one after another则强调连续性。


 

龙舟上敲着急促的锣鼓,划桨奋力击水,围追堵截,鸭子扑打着翅膀纷纷逃避。

Immediately from the dragon boats, drums and gongs beat furiously as oarsmen strain their muscles to chase the floating ducks.

🎈“桨奋力击水”的类似表述(激浪高歌,狠劲猛划,奋力冲刺)在上文中已经出现过,此处注意表达替换,译作了strain their muscles to …(绷紧肌肉…


 

只见抢鸭子勇士跪蹲船头,双眼凝视着猎物,一旦接近目标,便眼疾手快地跃入水中,眼看鸭子在劫难逃,不料它们狡黠异常,然悄悄地潜水遁去,消逝得无影无踪。

The chasers crouch near the bow, their eyes fixed on the prey. On approaching the ducks, they plunge into the river. But the ducks are tricky, they quickly dive underwater and vanish.

🎈“抢鸭子勇士”只用chaser一词便表示了出来,和前几天见过的“爱梦想的女孩dreamer”类似。

🎈凝视、盯着看fix one’s eyes on

何为《生命》

然后仰起头来,对着树身<凝视>,翕动着她独有的小小嘴唇,既像独语,又像倾诉。

She raised her head to fix her eyes on the tree and kept moving her unique small lips as if she were soliloquizing or sharing her innermost feelings with someone.

🎈On approaching the ducks根据个人理解可作时间/条件状语,)还记得《养花》里的一进门就大喊的送牛奶工(a milkman exclaimed on entering our gate)吗?这句话中的on getting up中on就表示的是“当……时”。

(“眼看鸭子在劫难逃”省译,这个分句完全可以从语境中推测出来。某种程度上,“双眼凝视着猎物,一旦接近目标,便眼疾手快地跃入水中”就等同“猎物在劫难逃”。


 

然后,暂停鼓锣,船上岸边的人们聚精会神扫视着水面,

For a moment, drums and gongs stop. Both participants and onlookers hold their breath in anticipation, eyes wide open, sweeping the river in search of the targets.

🎈片刻、一会儿for a moment

冯骥才《富人区》

这个日本朋友稍稍想了想,摇摇头说:“不会的。”

After pondering for a moment, he shook his head and said, “No, never.”

🎈“船上岸边的人们”并未死按字面只译onlookers,而是适当增加了participants(追鸭子的勇士)。此外,in anticipation, eyes wide open也是对人们神态描写的补充,使得文章表意更加充分。


 

一当鸭子露面,立刻喊声乍起,各船迅速拨转船头重新“围剿”,水面立时锣鼓喧天。就在小伙子跃入水中一刹那,鸭子再度潜入水中逃出重围。

No sooner does a duck appear than shouts of excitement echo from bank to bank again, accompanied by thunderous rolls from the drums and the gongs. The young rowers warm to their work and continue the chase, but when they jump into the river, the ducks once again dive underwater.

🎈英译“各船迅速拨转船头重新‘围剿’”时,已打破原句的形似框架。鸭子并不是都在船后露面,未必非得拨转船头不可。重要的是,抢鸭勇士又重鼓干劲,继续围剿,故译作 warm to their work。

🎈对 … 更加感兴趣(或热衷)warm to/towards sth

例句

The speaker was now warming to her theme.

演讲者就她的主题越讲越起劲。

🎈“再度潜入水中逃出重围”也可以译作once again escape into deep water。


 

观众中响起一片掌声,为抢鸭手鼓劲加油。

Spectators break into applause to cheer the chasers on.

🎈为…加油;为…喝彩cheer sb on

例句

Most will probably be cheering on their favourite players.

多数人大概都会为自己喜欢的球员加油。


 

那些抢到鸭子的勇士们,激情满怀地把捕获物高高举起,贏来了船上和岸上的阵阵欢呼声和热烈的掌声。

Those who catch the clucks lift their catch high in the air to show their courage. A storm of applause and cheers rises everywhere.

🎈catch作名词,指“捕获物”,也就是“被抓到的鸭子”。“勇士们”未作主语,而是处理为了to show their courage,更能体现竞技的快乐,就好比很多运动员获胜后都会用食指比“1”或者将奖杯高高举起,一是展示结果,二是气氛所使。又,“船上和岸上”不用译的太老实,everywhere一词够了。


 

据说,抢到鸭子的小伙子可博得姑娘的青睐。

It has been said that those who succeed in the game of chasing ducks can also win the love of the girls!

🎈“据…”直接套用it is said/alleged/…句型。“抢到鸭子”也就是在游戏中获胜,译作succeed in the game即可,后面的of chasing ducks可有可无。此处也可译成…those who win the game/catch ducks can also…。that后的时态用了一般现在时,因为是在客观叙述游戏规则。


 

晚上的夜游活动堪称压轴节目。

Evening activity brings another exciting moment to the festival.

🎈“堪称压轴节目”按“则更/同样激动人心”之意理解。

 


夜幕降临,乐山上空礼炮轰隆,彩灯光芒四溢。

As night falls, salutes from the city cannon thunder across the sky, a signal for countless bright lights to flash alive on all the dragon boats up and down the river.

🎈thunder做动词,指“轰隆作响”,salutes是名词,指“鸣礼炮;鸣炮致敬”,后面的, a signal for countless bright lights to…也可写作, which means/is a signal for…


 

河面各只彩船上无数五颜六色的霓虹灯、日光灯齐放光华,闪烁迷离,和水中倒影连成一片。

Those myriad-lighted boats become a riot of color which blends most subtly with colors from the river’s reflected surface.

🎈 a riot of color有点“百灯竞闪”的感觉。思考:我们之前提过“水天一色”译作the water jointed the sky,这句中的“和水中倒影连成一片”是否也可以用join一词来翻呢?


 

票灯点缀河面,似万点繁星坠落人间。在奇光异彩交相辉映中,众多的龙舟如银河流星,顺河而下,千姿百态,令人叫绝。在探照灯的扫射下,河面激起变幻莫测的五彩霞光。一时间,呈现出一幅光的天地一色的世界。

As the dragon boats row slowly and silently downstream, search lights along the shore highlight the procession of sparkling beauty. For a moment, before all fades to night, the spectators both afloat and ashore share this beautiful picture of universal brightness and magical color.

🎈探照灯search lights。before all fades to night为增译成分,使“一时间”概念更加明确。这段话,尤其前半部分,个人建议大家按原文字面译即可。因为参考译文省的有点多,“似万点繁星坠落人间”、“奇光异彩交相辉映”、“如银河流星”、“千姿百态,令人叫绝”等直接缩成了sparkling beauty,不太合适,一些比喻还是要保留的。

 

🔥必背词汇

tranquil         adj.平静的,安静的,宁静的

英义

Something that is tranquil is calm and peaceful.

例句

The tranquil atmosphere of The Connaught allows guests to feel totally at home.

康诺特酒店的宁静氛围让客人完全找到了宾至如归的感觉。

 

 

fringed        adj.周边是…的,以…作为边缘的

英义

If a place or object is fringed with something, that thing forms a border around it or is situated along its edges.

例句

tiny islands fringed with golden sand

金色沙滩围绕的小岛

 

blend        v.结合,融合,综合想法、政策和风格

英义

If you blend ideas, policies, or styles, you use them together in order to achieve something.

例句

His ‘cosmic vision’ is to blend Christianity with ‘the wisdom of all world religions’.

他的“远大设想”就是将基督教和“全世界所有宗教的智慧”融为一体。

 

bustling         adj.繁忙的,熙熙攘攘的

英义

full of people moving about in a busy way

例句

bustling city

熙熙攘攘的城市

 

🔥重点表达

绿扬夹岸水平铺tranquil river fringed with rich vegetation

很多的、大量的 a wealth of…

农历the lunar month

成千上万的thousands upon thousands of

与…一道(又), 连同…一起along with

引人注目;显眼stand out

带头、为首take the lead

14名健儿分列两舷Seven pairs of athletes

凝视、盯着看fix one’s eyes on

片刻、一会儿for a moment

对 … 更加感兴趣(或热衷)warm to/towards sth

为…加油;为…喝彩cheer sb on

探照灯 search lights

🔥复盘测试

绿扬夹岸水平铺

很多的、大量的

农历

成千上万的

与…一道(又), 连同…一起

引人注目;显眼

带头、为首

14名健儿分列两舷

凝视、盯着看

片刻、一会儿

对 … 更加感兴趣(或热衷)

为…加油;为…喝彩

探照灯

 

🔥表达对比

「融合」有几种表达方式?

 

乐山龙舟会(融)文化、艺术、经济、旅游、体育为一体,规模宏大,更具地方特色。

The traditional Dragon-Boat Festival, a scene of bustling activity, blends Leshan’s culture, arts, economy, tourism and athletics into a wealth of features.

 

它极易(溶)于冷水或热水,冲成既可口又充饥的饮料。

It mixes easily with cold or hot water to make a tasty, filling drink…

 

他没有顺利地(融入)到意大利的生活方式中。

He didn’t integrate successfully into the Italian way of life…

 

我们需要(融合)双方优势。”

We need to combine the development strengths of both sides.

 

美国银行与一家竞争银行(合并)了。

Bank of America merged with a rival bank…

未经允许不得转载:帕布莉卡 » 何志范《乐山龙舟会多姿多彩》 -英语翻译教程-中英双语赏析

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