《神话世界九寨沟》 -英语翻译教程-中英双语赏析

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神话世界九寨沟

Jiuzhaigou, China’s Fairyland
 
🔥提示:本文是大型画册《神话世界九寨沟》之序。旅游翻译不仅要忠实原文,而且要言简意赅,文情相生,渗透其中幽微。
 
蜀中山水,不知迷醉了多少古人和今人……
Sichuan Province in southwest China is renowned for its many fascinating natural wonders which have attracted millions of travelers over the centuries.
🎈蜀:中国的四川一带,商周时为蜀国,秦时为蜀郡,三国时为蜀汉地,所以四川别称蜀。
🎈in southwest China 和is renowned for是增译成分,前者是为了更好地说明四川的地理位置,后者则使旅游类型文章的开头更加合理。又,“山水”此处并未局限于字面,而是从宏观考虑,适当扩大词义理解为“自然风光natural wonders”。

 
近年来,在四川北部南坪县境内,闪现出一颗五光十色的风光“宝石”,这就是人们赞不绝口的“神话世界”九寨沟。它镶嵌在松潘、南坪、平武三县接壤的群山之中,面积约6万公顷,距成都约400公里。
The recent discovery of the scenic beauty of Jiuzhaigou (Nine-village Ravine) has added charm to the picturesque landscape. Known as “China’s Fairyland”, Jiuzhaigou is located in the hills along the borders of Nanping, Pingwu and Songpan counties, some 400 kilometers from Chengdu, the provincial capital. 
🎈这一部分并不拘泥于原文的段落结构(句号处为一段),而把两段融为一体,尽量保持原文的丰姿。从冗余信息角度看,译文可省略“在四川北部南坪县境内”一句,省译后的九寨沟地理位置依然明白无疑。
🎈“闪现出一颗五光十色的风光‘宝石’”对应译文中的the discovery of the scenic beauty of…,“闪现”即(近年来)发现,“一颗五光十色的风光‘宝石’”重在“风光”二字,“五光十色”和“宝石”是对“风光”的修饰成分,合并看则表示“秀丽的自然风光”,干脆译为the scenic beauty (of)。(此处猜测,之所以用“宝石”比喻,可能是因为俯瞰九寨沟,其整体呈现的模样如此)
🎈has added charm to the picturesque landscape的增译使得上下文衔接更紧密。上句说道“蜀中山水妙哉”,此处讲到“近些年发现的九寨沟风景迷人”,而九寨沟又位于四川,这样看,上下文是需要衔接的,即“九寨沟使蜀中风光更为迷人”。
🎈some 400 kilometers…中的some作副词,用于数目前,表示“大约”,例如:I have kept birds for some 30 years.(我养鸟大约有 30 年了。)

 
九寨沟,由树正群海沟、则查洼沟、日则沟三条主沟组成,海拔平均在2,500米左右。
Three scenic areas—Shuzheng qunhaigou, Zechawagou and Rizegou—combine to make up the 60, 000 hectares of fairyland, which is nearly 2, 500 meters above sea level.
🎈“三条主沟”译为three scenic areas。此处“沟”用gully直译有损于景点形象。词义选择必须从它在上下文中所处的地位来考虑,还要注意外国读者的接受能力。用scenic areas可使旅游者产生宽广的期待视野。

 
过去,沟中有九个藏族村寨,因此得名。
Its name “Nine-village Ravine” is supposed to be because Tibetans once inhabited nine villages in the ravine.
🎈有九个藏族村寨→藏族人分布在九个村寨里,现译为Tibetans once inhabited nine villages。

 
《南坪县志-翠海》对九寨沟风光曾有过粗略的记载:“羊崛番内,海狭长数里。水光浮翠,倒映林岚。” 
Here is a brief record in “Green Lakes”, a chapter in the Annals of Nanping County: “In Jiuzhaigou, lakes meander for miles, with wooded hills mirrored in the clear water.”
🎈brief的词义即表示“简要介绍”,且词性丰富,常用搭配是:简言之,总之;简短地in brief、向(某人)介绍…brief sb on/about sth。
🎈“水光浮翠”和“倒映林岚”实际上表示相同的意思,即水面倒映着四周景色,“翠”≈“林岚”。现译作with wooded hills mirrored in the clear water。

 
九寨沟风光之美,实际上百倍于这样的描绘。
The scene, actually, is much more beautiful than can be put into words.
🎈 “much more beautiful than can be put into words”,than后的省略情况:
(1) 若than 所连接的两个待比较的句子有相同成分,通常会有所省略,如说He is much taller than I (am). 而不能说He is much taller than I am tall. 但是,若所连接的两个待比较的句子没有相同成分,则不能省略,否则意思会有所变化。比较:He swims faster than I. 他游泳比我(游泳)快。//He swims faster than I run. 他游泳比我跑步还快。
(2) 有时用于类似以下这样的省略句:Don’t eat more than is good for you. 不要吃得过量。More food is wasted than is eaten in this canteen. 在这个食堂里浪费的食品比吃掉的还多。Some of the stories were really more than could be believed. 有些故事实在让人难以相信。More people own houses these days than used to years ago. 与几年前相比,目前有更多的人自己有房子。【注】为了便于理解,可以认为这类省略句的than为了便于理解,可以认为这类省略句后省略了what(但实际上这个what通常不宜补上,除非在英国某些方言里),但也有人认为在一些类似情况下than有点像关系代词,引导一个类似于定语从句的句子(但又不完全像定语从句,因为有时其前没有先行词),这类省略句通常不能补上所缺的主语或宾语(,这类省略句通常不能补上所缺因为than就充当了主语和宾语)。另外,还有以下这样的省略形式(即不仅省略了主语,而且省略了助动词):He returned three days earlier than expected.(=…than he was expected.) 他比所预料的早回三天。
 

就四川的名山秀水而论,总是有它们各自的独特风格和个性的。如峨嵋山的“秀”,青城山的“幽”,剑门关的“险”,夔门的“雄”。
Sichuan Province is rich in scenic wonders, each with its own distinctive features—the elegance of Mount Emei, the serenity of Mount Qingcheng, the sharp precipice of Jianmen Pass, and the grandeur of Kuimen.
🎈 each with its own distinctive features是独立主格结构。
🎈注意对“峨嵋山的‘秀’,青城山的‘幽’,剑门关的‘险’,夔门的‘雄’”的处理,有两种方式:以‘秀’/‘幽’/‘险’为主体(noun),后接of…表示所属关系;以峨嵋山/青城山/剑门关为主体(noun),前放‘秀’/‘幽’/‘险’等adj。
 
郁达夫《故都的秋》
“在南方每年到了秋天,总要想陶然亭的芦花,钓鱼台的柳影,西山的虫唱,玉泉的夜月,潭柘寺的钟声。
When I am in the South, the arrival of each autumn will put me in mind of Peiping’s Tao Ran Ting with its reed catkins, Diao Yu Tai with its shady willow trees, Western Hills with their chirping insects, Yu Quan Shan Mountain on a moonlight evening and Tan Zhe Si with its reverberating bell.”
柳影→成荫的柳树shady willow trees;
玉泉的夜月→夜月的玉泉a moonlight evening;
潭柘寺的钟声→钟声回响的潭柘寺Tan Zhe Si with its reverberating bell;
重心在“柳”、“玉泉”、“潭柘寺”,“影”、“夜月”、“钟声”只是修饰成分。
Q:为何翻译时候把地点“陶然亭,钓鱼台,西山”作为中心语呢?选用芦花,柳影这些speciality不可以吗 reed catkins in Tao Ran Ting ?
🎈 换个例子,“我想起了长发飘扬的她。”重点是她还是头发?
 
🎈此处译时可借鉴该思路,最终翻译版本还是depends on your own understanding。

 
九寨沟的风光,因它的内涵丰富,很难以一字穷述,还须继续探幽发微。
But to depict the diverse natural beauty of Jiuzhaigou in one or two words is not nearly enough.
🎈“内涵丰富”即景色各异,以diverse(多样)一词译出。
 

说它宛若“神话世界”,恐怕也只是见重于外在的美吧。
“Fairyland”, however inadequate, is perhaps the only word to choose.
🎈这句话意译了(甚至和原文变得差点没什么关系),译者对这里的理解使“‘神话世界’一词虽然不足以体现九寨沟的美,但世间也唯有这一词汇能勉强配得上九寨沟了吧”。
 

论山品水,古今时尚。或以诗,或以画,或以游记,或以摄影,运用各种不同的艺术手段,表现出山水风光的风格和个性。九寨沟风光的风格和个性,还在不断探索和认识的过程中。
Intrigued by this fairyland, true lovers of nature have tried recording its unique beauty in poems, paintings, photographs and travel notes.
🎈参考译文中,“论山品水,古今时尚。”一句未译出,可按“世人从古至今都爱品山论水”之意理解。“九寨沟风光的风格和个性,还在不断探索和认识的过程中”一句也未译出。这里无从猜测译者不译的原因,个人建议大家译出这两句。

 
这里,得感谢一位长居山中的藏族老人,他讲述了九寨山水来源的一则神话故事。他说:在很古很古的时候,九寨沟万山丛中,有个男神仙达戈,和美丽的女神仙沃诺色嫫自由恋爱,
An old local Tibetan tells the story of Jiuzhaigou: “Once upon a time, there lived deep in the mountains an immortal named Dage and a fairy maiden named Wonuosemo. They fell in love.
🎈“长居山中”译作local,简洁达意。
🎈关于time的词组:
(用于故事的开头)从前,很久以前once upon a time
提前、预先ahead of time
一直;始终all the time
任何时候、随时at any time
同时at the same time
有时;间或at times
永远for all time
目前;暂时for the time being
不时地;间或;偶尔from time to time

 
男神仙用风云磨了一面镜子,送给女神仙作梳妆打扮用;
One day, Dage presented Wonuosemo with a bright mirror which he had polished with the wind and the clouds.
🎈“作梳妆打扮用(for dressing up)”可译可不译。这句话也可与原文结构一致,译作以and连接的并列句。

 
女神仙接镜时失手,摔成108块碎片,散落山中,变成了 108个“翠海”。
Unfortunately, the mirror slipped from the maiden’s hand and broke into 108 pieces, each turning into a lake of emerald green.”
🎈Unfortunately是增译成分,原文虽无其词而有其意。该句“女神仙接镜时失手”的主语是“女神”,剩下的部分则均以“镜子”作主语,不如变换下说法,将主语统一处理为“the mirror”。补充一个小点,最近看到一个博主的分享:“碧水”不宜译作green waters,因为green waters指水质非常糟糕的水。“碧海”可以译作turquoise seas。

 
古老的传说启发了我们:九寨沟的奇美风光,就在于它有这天然生成的108个“翠海”;从风光的结构上讲,它是以水为主体的,这就有别于其他山水的特色了。
It is no wonder why scenic Jiuzhaigou is so entertaining, with so many distinctive “Green Lakes” reigning over the whole area.
🎈省译后半句,是因为上文108个“翠海”足以说明九寨沟风光以水为主,这种特点显然与其他景点之山水有所不同。直译全句反显冗赘,不堪卒读。英译旅游文章时,由于汉语中的重复词句颇多,尤其是山水景点介绍更为突出,因而要采用省译手法:若两词句所含的寓意相同或近似,只须择译其一即可。

 
祖国山水,风格多样;多样的风格,相对应而存在,相比较而多姿。杭州西湖,水榭歌台,人工赋予它典雅美。蜀中仙山峨嵋,飘浮于云涛雾海,呈秀色于烟雨浸漫的山林。誉满中华的桂林山水,水秀山奇,山水平分秋色。
China is a land of scenic contrasts, each uniquely representing its own area: West Lake in Hangzhou with enchanting pavilions set in quiet surroundings, Mount Emei in Sichuan with peaks peeping through mist and clouds, Guilin in Guangxi with panoramic views of mountains and rivers.
🎈“祖国山水,风格多样;多样的风格,相对应而存在,相比较而多姿。”译作China is a land of scenic contrasts, each uniquely representing its own area,译者对于该句的理解和对译文的整合值得大家学习。
🎈“杭州西湖……山水平分秋色”译时仍要注意合并和省译,一些big words酌情处理。参考译文将此处处理为三个整整齐齐的“地点+with…”,让人觉得清爽不少。

 
九寨沟风光,却又是另一番景象了。在那里,古树摇曳春秋,山花自谢自开,植被茸茸生烟,海子和瀑布随着季节的推移而变幻多姿;
And Jiuzhaigou presents another view. Aged trees wave the seasons by, amid carpets of wild flowers and thick green vegetation. Sparkling lakes and waterfalls vary with every season.
🎈“古树摇曳春秋,山花自谢自开,植被茸茸生烟”译作Aged trees wave the seasons by, amid carpets of wild flowers and thick green vegetation,让人浮想联翩,脑子中自动产生一幅画面,电视剧里的仙境镜头不正是这样吗?

 
在那里,冰河时期遗留下来的星叶草、独叶草、先花后叶的领春树,以及熊猫、金丝猴、扭角羚、白马鸡、獐、鹿……组合成了奇异的“动植物王国”。
Some rare trees and grasses, survivors of the glacial epoch, still thrive here in harmony with a host of creatures which make this ravine their home, for the land teems with such animals as giant pandas, golden monkeys, takins, white-eared pheasants, deer and river deer. All of this unfolds into a panorama of beautifully balanced fauna and flora.
🎈省译了“星叶草、独叶草、领春树”,以强调冰河时期遗留下来的稀有植物。(考场上遇到这样的词,如果能猜出来还是建议大家完完整整地译出,“星叶草、独叶草、领春树”的含义还是容易猜测的)
(Some rare trees and grasses, survivors of the glacial epoch, still thrive here in harmony /with a host of creatures which make this ravine their home, for the land teems with such animals as giant pandas, golden monkeys, takins, white-eared pheasants, deer and river deer. “/”前描述的是植物,“/”后的with结构则在说动物,对于译文中for的出现,个人觉得很奇怪,可以把with结构改写成:…with a host of creatures roaming in the land of this ravine, such as giant pandas, golden monkeys, takins, white-eared pheasants, deer and river deer。大家可以有自己的看法,欢迎交流,我们互相学习。
🎈“合成了奇异的‘动植物王国’”译作unfolds into a panorama of beautifully balanced fauna and flora,给人一种画卷缓缓铺开的美感,全文风格保持一致。

 
据南坪县对九寨风光有独到见解者讲:“九寨沟的山水风光,纵有万丽千奇,一旦离开原始的自然美,就一切都没有了。”他们的见解是精辟的。
As observers from Nanping County have justly put it, “All the beauty of Jiuzhaigou is endowed by nature. If the natural charm were removed, there would be no more of Jiuzhaigou.”
🎈结合上下文,“九寨沟的山水风光,纵有万丽千奇”按“九寨沟的所有风光都是大自然馈赠的”,译作All the beauty of Jiuzhaigou is endowed by nature。

 
当你步入沟中,便可见树正群海淡荡生辉,瀑布舒洒碧玉。
Mystic lakes and sparkling waterfalls captivate your eyes as you enter the ravine. 
🎈译文比原文更能体现出“仙境”之美。原文是顺其自然看风景;译文是风景主动往眼里跑,显然后者更有感官上的冲击力。

 
一到金秋,满山枫叶降红。盛夏,湖山幽翠。仲春,树绿花艳……
The trees are their greenest in spring when intensified by colorful flowers. In summer, warm tints spread over the hills and lakelands. As summer merges into autumn, the maple trees turn fiery-red, splashing color through the thickly forested hills.
🎈暖色调warm tints;原文语序按“四时之序”进行了调整。

 
四时都呈现出它的天然原始,宁静幽深。日则沟里的镜湖、五花海,则查洼沟里的五彩池,虽缤纷艳丽,但令人迷醉的却是绚丽的和谐景色。
Tranquility pervades primitive Jiuzhaigou throughout the year, particularly at places around Mirror Lake and Five-flower Lake at Rizegou, and Multi-colored Lake at Zechawagou, where a profusion of colors is brought into full harmony with nature.
🎈万紫千红、绚丽多彩 a profusion of colors

 
这种独特的景观,只有在这个自然保护区才能见到。
This singular spectacle can only be seen in Jiuzhaigou—a natural preserve.
🎈此句交代了新的信息点:九寨沟是自然保护区。

 
因此说,天然原始是九寨沟风光的个性和风格,是比较得当的。
🎈全句省译。上文已提到“原始自然美”,再译“天然原始”显然重复叠用。

 
当然,这并不排除九寨沟风光的其他特点,它的风景点集中,它的三条主沟,各具特色而又富多种魅力。
In addition to this natural beauty Jiuzhaigou, again, is noted for its three scenic areas which are so concentrated in the region and yet so strikingly contrasted with each other that tourists cannot believe their eyes even when they see them.
🎈“当然,这并不排除九寨沟风光的其他特点”原文乍一看有点拧巴,按“除此之外”理解就行。(so)…that tourists cannot believe their eyes even when they see them是增译成分,补充了一条彩虹屁,不会使句意有太大偏差,写简历不也要适当润色优点吗?(ps:考场上别学这样,容易玩火)

 
一位经验丰富纵览过世界风光的国际旅游企业家,曾在九寨沟风光最妩媚的秋天做了一次短游,他说:“像九寨沟这样美妙的景色,世界上是少有的。” 
After visiting this fairyland in autumn, a tourist entrepreneur from abroad exclaimed, “Of all the scenic spots the world has ever produced, nothing compares with this.”
🎈“经验丰富纵览过世界风光的”可理解为隐含在了这位旅游企业家所说的“世界上…Of all the scenic spots the world has ever produced”里,故而不译。
 

他情不自禁地对陪同他的藏族副县长说:“你真幸福啊!你是世界上最美丽的县的县长。”
He then turned to his companion, the deputy head of Nanping County, and said, “You are lucky to govern the most beautiful place in the world.”
🎈从参考译文分析哈,“情不自禁地”不译作could not help doing之类的,是因为它的功能更多是为了顺接上文:“因为…所以对县长说…”,更侧重上下文逻辑关系的体现,而不是情感上的情难自已。
 

九寨沟风光,不愧是蜀中又一幅新的山水画卷。
Scenic Jiuzhaigou is indeed one of nature’s most extravagant splendors anywhere and the crowning glory of Sichuan Province.
🎈“不愧是蜀中又一幅新的山水画卷”有两层意思,一是夸赞九寨沟风景迷人,二是指九寨沟为蜀中锦上添花。
 
🔥必背词汇
ravine       cn.沟壑,深谷,峡谷,山涧
英义
A ravine is a very deep narrow valley with steep sides.
例句
The bus is said to have overturned and fallen into a ravine.
据说巴士发生翻车,跌进了峡谷。
 
fairyland       n.仙境,美妙之地
英义
If you describe a place as a fairyland, you mean that it has a delicate beauty.
例句
If you came with me to one of my toy shops, you’d think you were stepping into a fairyland.
如果你跟我到我的一个玩具店,你会以为踏进了仙境。
 
🔥重点表达
不知迷醉了多少古人和今人have attracted millions of travelers over the centuries
镶嵌在松潘、南坪、平武三县接壤的群山之中is located in the hills along the borders of Nanping, Pingwu and Songpan counties
海拔平均在2,500米左右is nearly 2, 500 meters above sea level
实际上百倍于这样的描绘is much more beautiful than can be put into words
有它们各自的独特风格和个性with its own distinctive features
神话世界Fairyland
(用于故事的开头)从前,很久以前once upon a time
翠海a lake of emerald green
古树摇曳春秋,山花自谢自开,植被茸茸生烟Aged trees wave the seasons by, amid carpets of wild flowers and thick green vegetation.
动植物fauna and flora
万紫千红、绚丽多彩 a profusion of colors
自然保护区a natural preserve
 
🔥复盘测试
不知迷醉了多少古人和今人
镶嵌在松潘、南坪、平武三县接壤的群山之中
海拔平均在2,500米左右
实际上百倍于这样的描绘
有它们各自的独特风格和个性
神话世界
(用于故事的开头)从前,很久以前
翠海
古树摇曳春秋,山花自谢自开,植被茸茸生烟
动植物
万紫千红、绚丽多彩
自然保护区
 
🔥表达对比
「以……闻名/著称」有几种表达?
 
Sichuan Province in southwest China is renowned for its many fascinating natural wonders which have attracted millions of travelers over the centuries.
蜀中山水,不知迷醉了多少古人和今人……
 
My hometown is famous for  pottery and porcelain.
我的家乡因陶瓷而闻名。
 
Erie has a reputation for treacherous flash storms.
伊利湖以其突如其来的闪电式风暴而(闻名)。
 
Other people were known for singing. I was known for talking.
其他人都是以唱歌而闻名。我是以说话而(闻名)。
 
The Victorian Age is often boasted of as an age of progress.
维多利亚时代常常(被夸耀为)进步时代。

未经允许不得转载:帕布莉卡 » 《神话世界九寨沟》 -英语翻译教程-中英双语赏析

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