沈从文《鸭巢围的夜》 -英语翻译教程-中英双语赏析

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鸭巢围的夜

沈从文

A Night at Mallard-Nest Village

Shen Congwen

 

🔥提示:本文选自老作家沈从文的《湘西散记》。作者文笔清新流畅,善于书写民间生活、乡土风情。本文描写作者20世纪30年代乘小船上溯沅江、夜泊水寨边的情景,细微尽致,宛如一幅优美的风情画。在语言方面,有较多描写笔墨,包括运用一些较复杂的长句,英译时须注意推敲。老翻译家戴乃迭的译文很有特色。

 

天快黄昏时落了一阵雪子,不久就停了。

Towards dusk it started snowing, but soon the snow stopped.

🎈“快黄昏”中的“快”译作toward(s),这个词表示一种(时间或方向上的)趋向,比如“向美好未来前进move towards a bright future”、“靠近/走向walk up towards sb/sth”。it可指代天气,原句表述的是“天下雪了,(不久)雪停了”,注意主语的选用。


 

天气真冷,在寒气中一切都仿佛结了冰。便是空气,也像快要冻结的样子。

It was bitterly cold. In that glacial atmosphere everything seemed turned to ice, the air itself as if on the point of freezing.

🎈译文应注意反映出“严冬向晚,大雪初霁”的季节背景。对“天气真冷,在寒气中……”等处不宜平淡直译,而用bitter, icy, freezing或glacier能渲染出寒冷气氛。另外,“便是空气,也……”是紧接主句下来的,译时宜简洁,不宜拖成一个长句。the air itself (was) as if on the point of freezing是独立主格结构。所谓独立主格结构就是带有逻辑主语的短语结构(注意不能构成句子),这个逻辑主语就叫做独立主格,在句子中所起的作用和分词短语一样,用作时间、原因、方式、伴随状语。

🎈即将、正要、将近on the point of

例句

I was on the point of posting the letter when I saw it didn’t have a stamp on it.

我正准备寄信,突然发现上面没贴邮票。

 


我包定的那只小船,在天空大把撒着雪子时已泊了岸。

The small boat I had hired moored after the first flurries of snow fell.

🎈after the first flurries of snow fell中first是增译成分,根据“小船停泊时间早”的句意补充;flurry可以表示一系列、一连串,也可以指(雪等的)一阵,是可数名词。


 

从桃源县沿河而上这已是第五个夜晚。

This was the fifth night of my trip upstream from Taoyuan.

🎈看中文我们能明白“这是旅途(从桃源县沿河而上)的第五个夜晚”,译时需自行调整语序,使搭配合理。至于my trip upstream from Taoyuan中的upstream from Taoyuan,副词(短语)和形容词(短语)不同,修饰名词作定语时必须后置,如my book here、the news abroad。


 

看情形晚上还会有风有雪,故船泊岸边时便从各处挑选好地方。

Because it looked as if we were in for a blizzard, the boatmen had searched for a good anchorage.

🎈“看情形晚上还会有风有雪”,不宜简单译作…there is going to be a blizzard,而是将作者摆进画面中去,译为it looked as if we were in for a blizzard,既自然,又能加强感染力。

🎈即将经历,即将遭受(不愉快的事)be in for sth

例句

He’s in for a shock!

他很快就会感到震惊的!


 

沿岸除了某一处有片岨宜于泊船以外,其余地方全是黛色如屋的大岩石。

But apart from a suitable beach, the bank was a mass of black boulders the size of houses.

🎈the size of houses作boulders的后置定语,指“像房屋那样大”,the size of结构也可与half连用,写作half the size of sth(有…的一半大),例句

To mosquitoes the size of your fist.

敬拳头大小的蚊子。


 

石头既然那么大,船又那么小,我们都希望寻觅得到一个能作小船风雪屏障,同时要上岸又还方便的处所。

Since they were so big and our boat was so small, we wanted to find some shelter from the wind in a place where we could easily go ashore.

🎈they were so big and our boat was so small中的and可换做while,含对比意味。此处提到的“处所”需要满足两个条件:1可觅得保护所2上岸方便,值得学习的是译者在处理时并未译作普通并列结构,而是以in a place where译出。类似于数学中的集合,用{可觅得保护所的地方} ⊆{上岸方便的地方}找出了同时满足两个条件的place。


 

凡是可以泊船的地方,早已被当地渔船占去了。

However, all the best moorings were occupied by local fishing-boats.

🎈However是增译成分,原文虽无其词而有其意。moor是动词“停泊”;moorings是名词“系泊用具、停泊区”。


 

小船上的水手,把船上下各处撑去,钢钻头敲打着沿岸大石头,发出好听的声音,结果这只小船,还是不能不同许多大小船只一样,在正当泊船处插了篙子,把当做锚头用的石碇抛到沙上去,尽那行将来到的风雪,摊派到这只船上。

The crew punted our little craft up and down, the steel tips of the punting-poles clinking melodiously on the rocks; but in the end we had to draw alongside the other vessels large and small in the regular anchorage, dropping the rock which served us as an anchor onto the sand and leaving our little craft exposed to the coming blizzard.

🎈这句的“钢钻头敲打着沿岸大石头,发出好听的声音”,紧接前半句,修饰水手撑动小船的情景,绘声绘色。英译时,可考虑采用一种文学描写的常用形式:独立结构。这种结构对加深动作背景的描述常有较好效果。又,draw alongside表示“并驾齐驱”。

🎈到头来、最后、终于 in the end

坚持到底to the very/bitter end

使收支相抵、勉强维持生计make ends meet

持续地、连续地;直立着on end


 

这地方是个长潭的转折处,两岸是高大壁立千丈的山,山头上长着小小竹子,长年翠色逼人。

This place, at a bend in a long lake, was flanked by high cliffs on the peaks of which grew small bamboos, an enchanting emerald the whole year round.

🎈这句原文共分四层,重叠托出,是汉语结构的特点。英译时则必须分别主从,恰当地选好主句以带动其他。译文用第二层作主句,The place. . .was flanked by…,因为“岸”这个地方是各层描写的集中点,便于用介词短语、分词短语或从句(如第三层),把各层有机地联系起来,比较自然。

🎈两侧有、(有时指)一侧有be flanked by…

例句

李大钊《艰难的国运与雄健的国民》

有时流到很逼狭的境界,<两岸丛山迭岭>,绝壁断崖,江河流于期间,回环曲折,极其险峻。

Sometimes it comes up against a narrow section flanked by high mountains and steep cliffs, winding through a course with many a perilous twist and turn.


 

这时节两山只剩余一抹深黑,赖天空微明为画出一个轮廓。

Now that darkness was falling, only their silhouettes were outlined against the faintly glimmering sky.

🎈用Now that引导一个时间状语从句来译“这时节(两山只剩余一抹深黑)”,很恰当。“(两山)赖(天空微明)为画出一幅轮廓”:戴译用…their silhouettes were outlined against(the faintly glimmering sky),自然流畅。

🎈now that引导原因状从时相当于as,常译为“既然、由于”;引导时间状语从句时,可译为“现在(当…)、如今、而这时”。


 

但在黄昏里看来如一种奇迹的,却是两岸高处去水已30丈上下的吊脚楼。

What we could make out in the dusk, though, was amazing—about three hundred feet up the cliff, high above the water, was a cluster of houses on stilts.

🎈(勉强地)辨认出、看出、听出make out

例句

I could just make out a tall, pale, shadowy figure tramping through the undergrowth…

我只依稀看见一个高个的模糊身影穿过了矮树丛。

🎈吊脚楼:于干栏式建筑,但与一般所指干栏有所不同。干栏应该全部都悬空的,所以称吊脚楼为半干栏式建筑。最基本的特点是正屋建在实地上,厢房除一边靠在实地和正房相连,其余三边皆悬空,靠柱子支撑。依山的吊脚楼,在平地上用木柱撑起分上下两层,节约土地,造价较廉;上层通风、干燥、防潮,是居室;下层关牲口或用来堆放杂物。


 

这些房子莫不俨然悬挂在半空中,借着黄昏的余光,还可以把这些希奇的楼房形体看得出个大略。

There they hung majestically in mid air, and in the fading light we could still see the outline of these extraordinary buildings.

🎈“黄昏的余光”译作the fading light,黄昏时分光线愈发黯淡,故选用现在分词fading译出。“看得出个大略”译作了“see the outline of…”,不知道大家是否还记得silhouette一词,也常表示(模糊的)轮廓。

🎈现在分词和过去分词作前置定语:几乎所有的现在分词都可以作前置定语,现在分词表示其所修饰名词的动作,二者有逻辑上的主谓关系,并表示所修饰词的特点、性质等。所有的及物动词的过去分词都可以作前置定语;不及物动词的过去分词作前置定语时,其前常有副词修饰(如a newly arrived visitor),当然也有少数几个可以单独使用。过去分词语已经完全变为形容词的过去分词作前置定语时的区别是:前者表示中心词承受动作的结果或状态;而后者表示中心词的特点,例如a locked door(locked表示状态)、an experienced doctor(experienced表示中心词doctor的特点)


 

这些房子同沿河一切房子有个共通相似处,便是从结构上说来,处处显出对于木材的浪费。

In common with all the houses along the river, their construction was characterized by a wasteful use of timber.

🎈与…相同/相似 in common with sb/sth

例句

Britain, in common with many other industrialized countries, has experienced major changes over the last 100 years.

与许多其他工业化国家一样,英国在过去 100 年里经历了重大的变化。


 

房屋既在半山上,不用那么多木料,便不能成为房子吗?半山上也用吊脚楼形式,这形式是必须的吗?

Why was so much timber needed for houses halfway up a hill? Yet they were built on stilts, quite needlessly.

🎈原文是两个疑问句。译文从其精神,不拘泥原句形式;戴译采用自问自答,起到同等效果。

🎈在半山上halfway up a hill

张晓风《高处何处有》

“那不是山顶,那是山腰”译为“you’ve been halfway up the mountain rather than to its summit”。其中halfway up表示“半途、中途”

例句

He was halfway up the ladder.

他梯子上到了一半。

The climbers made camp halfway up the peak.

登山者在半山腰设置营地。

There is the bird, sitting on a twig halfway up the tree.

鸟儿在那里,栖息在树中段的一根细枝上。


 

然而这条河水的大宗出口是木料,木材比石块还不值价。因此,即或是河水永远长不到处,吊脚楼房子依然存在,似乎也不应当有何惹眼惊奇了。

Well, timber was the main product shipped out from this river, costing less than stone; and so, though there was no danger at all of flooding, it was really not astonishing that these houses were still built on stilts.

🎈 “长不到”即“涨不到”;there was no danger at all of flooding同there was no danger of flooding at all。

 


但沿河因为有了这些楼房,长年与流水斗争的水手,寄身船中枯闷成疾的旅行者,以及其他过路人,却有了落脚处了;

And because they were there, the boatmen who grappled year in year out with the current, their passengers nearly bored to death, and other travellers too had somewhere to rest.

🎈年复一年 year in year out

🎈…to death表示“……而亡”,也是对“……”的程度描写。例如:饿死starve to death;流血而亡is bleeding to death;被打死be beaten to death;(be) bored to death无聊至极。


 

这些人的疲劳与寂寞是从这些房子中可以一律解除的。

They could shake off their weariness and loneliness in these houses.

🎈摆脱、甩开shake off

例句

He was generally feeling bad. He just couldn’t shake it off.

他整个人感觉不太舒服,总是好不了。


 

地方既好看,也好玩。

So the place, besides being attractive, provided distractions.

🎈So是增译成分,点出逻辑关系,更好地衔接上下文。结合上文体积的“解除疲劳与寂寞”,“好玩”未译作fun等词,而是译作provided distractions(缓解精神压力)


河面大小船只泊定后,莫不点了小小的油灯,拉了篷,

After the boats large and small had moored, all lit tiny oil lamps and fixed up mat canopies.

🎈“莫不点了…”意即“(所有船只)无不(是)点了灯…”,现译作all…。

 


各个船上皆在后舱烧了火,用铁鼎罐煮饭,饭炯熟后,又换锅子熬油,哗的把菜蔬倒进热锅里去。

Rice was boiled in iron cauldrons over fires in the stern, and once this was cooked the vegetables were fried in another pan of sizzling oil.

🎈“饭焖熟后,又换锅子熬油”描述两个动作的接续进行,现处理为once…,表示“一…就…”;“哗的(把菜蔬倒进热锅里)”,戴译用(Vegetables)were fried in…pan of sizzling oil,声景并现。

🎈从船头到船尾from stem to stern


 

一切齐全了,各人蹲在舱板上三碗五碗把腹中填满后,天已夜了。

When the meal was ready, everyone aboard could wolf down three or five bowls. By then it was dark.

🎈用wolf down(狼吞虎咽)译“把腹中填满”,非常地道且生动。

 


水手们怕冷怕冻的,收拾碗盏后,就莫不在舱板上摊开了被盖,把身体钻进那个预先卷成一筒又冷又湿的硬棉被里去休息。

When the bowls had been cleared away, the boatmen who felt cold or tired out spread their bedding on the deck and burrowed into their stiff, clammy quilts which they had laid out like tubing.

🎈这里共有四个形容词修饰棉被:“预先卷成一筒”、“又冷又湿”、“硬”。译时,在选词、结构和次序安排上均应注意英语习惯。戴译对第一组词用定语从句,置quilt之后,which they had laid out like tubing;用clammy 把“又冷又湿”就都表现出来了;“硬”译stiff比hard好。另外,“(把身体)钻进(棉被)”,用burrow into较生动地体现了原文形象。


 

至于那些想喝一杯的,发了烟瘾得靠靠灯,船上烟灰又翻尽了的,或一无所为,只是不甘寂寞,好事好玩想到岸上去烤烤火谈谈天的,便莫不提了桅灯,或燃一段废缆子,摇晃着从船头跳上了岸,从一堆石头间的小路径,爬到半山上吊脚楼房子那边去,找寻自己的熟人,找寻自己的熟地。

Those who wanted to drank or smoked by the lamp, and when the fire on the boat had burned to ashes or there was nothing to do, if lonely or eager for a bit of fun they would go ashore to sit by a fire and chat, taking the lantern from the mast or lighting a strip of old hawser with which they jumped unsteadily ashore to take the path through rocks to the stilt-houses halfway up the cliff, in search of an old friend or familiar house.

🎈这是汉语中罕见的长句,共120字。主语部分较长,描述了三种人,性格形态各异;谓语是“上岸”去,其修饰词包括描述上岸的动机、目的、方式,还有相当的景象描写。这种句子如采用通常的拆句法,势必割裂原意;戴译采用了长句,很见功力。另外,句子虽长,能从简处应力求简洁,如用一个动词(或介词)连用两个宾语,就可免去一些重复,英译文也较自然,如: …want to drink or smoke…,和in search of an old friend, or familiar houses等。

 


陌生人自然也有来到这条河中来到这种吊脚楼房子里的时节,但一到地,在火堆旁小板凳上一坐,便是陌生人,即刻也就可以称为熟人乡亲了。

Strangers naturally travelled along the river too, but once inside these stilt-houses, sitting on low stools by the fire, in no time they would feel not strangers but friends.

🎈这句话的前半部分提到“陌生人…【河中】来到这种吊脚楼房子里的时节”,但译文是Strangers naturally travelled along the river,并未译出“来到这种吊脚楼房子里”,有人觉得是漏译,事实并非如此。纵观整句,“来到这种吊脚楼房子里”和“【到地】”指的是同一件事,译文巧妙地将句意简化为地点的转化:河中(along the river)→到地(inside these stilt-houses),可作赏析。

 

🔥必背词汇

glacial        adj.冰冷的,冰一般的

英义

very cold; like ice

例句

glacial winds/temperatures

刺骨的寒风;极低的温度

 

moor         v.使船停泊

英义

If you moor a boat somewhere, you stop and tie it to the land with a rope or chain so that it cannot move away.

英义

She had moored her barge on the right bank of the river.

她把驳船停泊在河右岸。

 

flurry         cn.(雪等的)一阵

英义

A flurry of something such as snow is a small amount of it that suddenly appears for a short time and moves in a quick, swirling way.

英义

flurries of snow

阵阵小雪

 

upstream        adv.逆流地,往上游,在上游

英义

Something that is moving upstream is moving towards the source of a river, from a point further down the river. Something that is upstream is towards the source of a river.

英义

The water rose high enough for them to continue upstream.

水位涨得够高了,他们可以继续向上游航行。

 

anchorage         n.锚地,泊地

英义

An anchorage is a place where a boat can anchor safely.

英义

The vessel yesterday reached anchorage off Dubai.

船昨天到达了迪拜附近的泊地。

 

boulder         cn.大圆石,巨石

英义

A boulder is a large rounded rock.

英义

These loose boulders are the mountains’ crumbling bones.

这些散落的石块是从山脊上崩裂下来的。

 

🔥重点表达

快黄昏时Towards dusk

天气真冷It was bitterly cold

快要冻结as if on the point of freezing

从……沿河而上upstream from

即将经历,即将遭受(不愉快的事)be in for sth

上岸go ashore

到头来、最后、终于 in the end

两岸是高大壁立千丈的山was flanked by high cliffs

长年翠色逼人an enchanting emerald the whole year round

(勉强地)辨认出、看出、听出make out

悬挂在半空中hung in mid air

与…相同/相似 in common with sb/sth

对木材的浪费a wasteful use of timber

长年与流水斗争grappled year in year out with the current

有了落脚处had somewhere to rest

摆脱、甩开shake off

狼吞虎咽wolf down

 

🔥复盘测试

快黄昏时

天气真冷

快要冻结

从……沿河而上

即将经历,即将遭受(不愉快的事)

上岸

到头来、最后、终于

两岸是高大壁立千丈的山

长年翠色逼人

(勉强地)辨认出、看出、听出

悬挂在半空中

与…相同/相似

对木材的浪费

长年与流水斗争

有了落脚处

摆脱、甩开

狼吞虎咽

 

🔥表达对比

「快(要)」有几种表达?

 

天(快)黄昏时落了一阵雪子,不久就停了。

Towards dusk it started snowing, but soon the snow stopped.

 

天气真冷,在寒气中一切都仿佛结了冰。便是空气,也像(快要)冻结的样子。

It was bitterly cold. In that glacial atmosphere everything seemed turned to ice, the air itself as if on the point of freezing.

 

工作(快要)完成了。

The work is close to the end.

 

所有这些旧房屋都(快要)拆除了。

All these old houses are going to be demolished.

 

多吉看上去(快要)哭了。

Doge looked to be on the verge of tears.

 

我们就(快要)越界了。

We’re on our way to cross the line

未经允许不得转载:帕布莉卡 » 沈从文《鸭巢围的夜》 -英语翻译教程-中英双语赏析

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