史铁生《秋天的怀念》 -英语翻译教程-中英双语赏析

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秋天的怀念

Fond Memories of Autumn

史铁生

Shi Tiesheng

 

🔥提示:这篇短小精悍的散文表达了一个双腿瘫痪的儿子对母亲深切的怀念,歌颂了伟大无私的母爱。因此,在题目中加上了“深切的”(fond)一词以突出主题。

 

双腿瘫痪后,我的脾气变得暴怒无常。

When my legs were first paralyzed, my temper became terrible.

🎈句中first并非表示“第一次瘫痪”,而是指“瘫痪后最初的一段时间”。

 


望着望着天上北归的雁阵,我会突然把面前的玻璃砸碎;听着听着李谷一甜美的歌声,我会猛的把手边的东西摔向四周的墙壁。

Looking at the lines of wild geese flying back north, I would suddenly smash the window pane in front of me. Listening to the sweet songs sung by the famous singer Li Guyi, I would throw whatever happened to be on hand at the wall.

🎈这两句使用了相同的平行结构以保持句子平衡。注意第二句中介词短语on hand与at the wall的用法使句子简练,意思贴切。

🎈the famous singer是增译成分,指明“李谷一”身份,帮助外国读者理解。

🎈 I would throw (whatever happened to be on hand) at the wall:整句为I would throw sth at the wall句型,whatever引导名词性从句,happen to表示“恰好、碰巧”,后可接动词原形、名词。


 

母亲就悄悄地躲出去,在我看不见的地方偷偷地听着我的动静。

On these occasions Mother would steal out quietly, watching me from a place where I could not see her.

🎈On these occasions(每当此时/这些时候)为增译成分,使上下文更好地衔接。

🎈steal out指“偷偷出去”,此处steal作动词,表示“偷偷移动至、悄悄走到”,后接adv/prep。

 


当一切恢复沉寂,她又悄悄地进来,眼边红红的,看着我。

When I calmed down, she would come back softly and gaze at me with sad eyes.

🎈“当一切恢复沉寂”指“一切声响(我“砸”东西的声音)消失”,也就是“我”冷静下来,不再乱砸的时候,现译作When I calmed down;“眼边/眼眶红红的”是对人哭过之后的神态描写,可以按字面译作red-rimmed eyes,但加入母亲的情感,译作sad eyes更能煽动感情。


 

“听说北海的花儿都开了,我推着你去走走。”她总是这么说。

“They say that the flowers in Beihai Park are in bloom now. Let me wheel you there,” she used to say.

🎈(鲜花)盛开 in bloom;wheel指“用轮椅移动sb/sth”,用词值得积累;used to say是used to do结构,表示过去常常做某事,也可替换为always said。


 

母亲喜欢花, 可自从我的腿瘫痪后,她侍弄的那些花都死了。

Mother loved flowers dearly, but ever since my legs became paralyzed, all her flowers had died.

🎈ever since和since的区别:

一、指代不同

1、ever since:打…以后。

2、since:从…以来。二、用法不同

1、ever since:since用作连词作“自从…以来〔以后或,现在〕”解时,引导时间状语从句,在主句是现在完成时的情况下,如果since从句中谓语动词用一般过去时,则表示动作或状态的完成,计时的起点是动作或状态完成的那一时刻。

2、since:since用作介词的意思是“从…以来,自从…之后”,其宾语常指过去的一个时间点,其含意通常指持续到说话时刻的动作或情况开始于什么时候。since之后常接名词、动名词作其宾语,since then意为“从那以后”。

三、侧重点不同

1、ever since:侧重于指从某个时间后一直持续。

2、since:侧重于只是陈述从某时以后。


 

“不,我不去!”我狠命地捶打这两条可恨的腿,喊着,“我活着有什么劲!”

“No, I won’t go!” I shouted, while beating my cursed legs as hard as I could. “What am I still living for?”

🎈while beating my cursed legs:从句和主句主语一致且含be动词,可省略主语和be动词。


 

母亲扑过来抓住我的手,忍住哭声说:“咱娘儿俩在一块儿,好好儿活,好好儿活……”

Mother would then rush up to me, holding my hands in hers and saying between subdued sobs, “The two of us should live together happily, happily…”

🎈冲过来rush up to sb

🎈holding my hands in hers→holding my hands in her hands。

🎈“忍住哭声说”译作saying between subdued sobs,处理很巧妙,通过这个版本的译文,我们能想象到母亲持续抽泣,但为了安抚儿子不得不暂时忍住哭泣开口讲话,即讲话是穿插在抽泣声之间,between一词用得很妙。之前,我们也多次见过between的身影

方志敏《清贫》

把钱平分divide the money equally between them after selling the spoils

郑振铎《离别》与岸间的水面渐渐的阔了

leaving a widening expanse of water in between

朱自清《背影》

这些日子,家中光景很是惨淡,一半为了丧事,一半为了父亲的赋闲。

Between grandma’s funeral and father’s unemployment, our family was then in reduced circumstances.


 

可我却一直都不知道,她的病已经到了那步田地。

Although I did not know it, she had been seriously ill herself all the time.

🎈although通常译作“虽然、即使”,使用although是为了强调“(无论我知晓不知晓)母亲的病情一直很严重”。这里也可以使用however、but等词,此时则稍强调“‘我’不知道…”


 

后来妹妹告诉我,她常常肝疼得整宿整宿翻来覆去地睡不了觉。

It was my younger sister who told me later that mother had often been kept awake the whole night with pains in the liver.

🎈the whole night或all the night前无需加介词。

 


那天我又独自坐在屋里,看着窗外的树叶唰唰啦啦地飘落。母亲进来了,挡在窗前:“北海的菊花开了,我推着你去看看吧。”

One day I was alone in the room, watching the rustling fall of autumn leaves through the window when Mother came in. She stood between me and the window and said, “The chrysanthemums in Beihai are blossoming. Do let me take you there for a visit. ”

🎈看着窗外的树叶唰唰啦啦地飘落→看着窗外的唰唰啦啦地飘落着的树叶,将“唰唰啦啦地飘落”动词短语处理成了名词短语the rustling fall。“… when Mother came in”中的when理解成“就在这时”。

 


她憔悴的脸上现出央求般的神色。

Her sad eyes in her haggard face silently implored me.

🎈此句宜意译:面部的神色主要是通过眼睛来表达,故译成her sad eyes silently implored me 更为合乎逻辑。


 

“什么时候?”

“你要是愿意,就明天?”她说。我的回答已经让她喜出望外了。

“When?” I asked.

“Tomorrow, if it suits you,” she replied, pleasantly surprised at my interest.

🎈“我的回答”按“我的回答下隐含的意愿/兴趣”理解,译作my interest。

 


“好吧,就明天。”我说。

她高兴得一会坐下,一会站起:“那就赶紧准备准备。”

“Okay, tomorrow then,” I agreed.

She was so delighted that she did not know whether to sit or to stand. “Let’s get ready right now,” she suggested.

🎈“tomorrow then”中的then是副词,口语中译作“那么”。例句:’I got a load of money out of them.’ — ‘So you’re okay, then.’(“我从他们那里弄到很多钱。”——“这么说,你还不错喽。”)。“高兴得一会坐下,一会站起”表面上看是“坐下”和“站起”的动作交替发生,实际上暗含的是母亲高兴的不知所措的情感,现译作was so delighted that she did not know whether to sit or to stand。


 

“哎呀,烦不烦?几步路,有什么好准备的!”

“Oh, what a bore! Do we need to get ready for a park just a few steps away?” I said.

🎈what a bore!是what引导的感叹句,bore在此处是名词,表示“令人讨厌/厌烦的sb/sth”。


 

她也笑了,坐在我身边,絮絮叨叨地说着:“看完菊花,咱们就去‘仿膳’,你小时候最爱吃那儿的豌豆黄儿。

She burst out laughing herself, sat down beside me and murmured, “After we’ve seen the chrysanthemums, well dine at Fang Shan Restaurant. You used to love their purée of peas best when you were a little boy.

🎈She burst out laughing herself:反身代词herself在此处为强调用法,即用来加强某个名词或者代词的语气,可译成“亲自”、“本人”等。此时,它在句中作同位语,即使去掉,也不影响句子的完整性。同样的例句还有:You must do it yourself.和I myself did the homework last night.


 

还记得那回我带你去北海吗?你偏说那杨树花是毛毛虫,跑着,一脚踩扁一个……”

Still remember our last tour to Beihai? You insisted that the poplar flowers be worms and ran to stamp on them one by one…”

🎈“你偏说”按“你坚持说…”之意理解为You insisted that…。又,在表示命令、建议或要求等动词后的宾语从句中要求用虚拟语气,谓语形式为“(should)+动词原形”。这类动词有:ask, advice, suggest, request, commend, decide, determine, insist, intend, prefer, propose, order, recommend, imagine等。

例句

I suggested that you (should) try to understand him.

我曾建议你试着去理解他。

所以译文中insist that后为noun+be…

🎈回顾stamp

夏丏尊《我之于书》

加盖藏书印记stamp my ex-libris on books

叶紫《长江轮上》

跺脚 stamp one’s feet


 

她忽然不说了。对于“跑”和“踩”一类的字眼儿,她比我还敏感。

Here she broke off abruptly, more sensitive to words like “run” and “stamp” than I ever was.

🎈突然中止/停顿break off

例句

Llewelyn broke off in mid-sentence.

卢埃林一句话说了一半突然停下来。


 

她又悄悄地出去了。她出去了,就再也没回来。

She went out again gently. Yes, she went out, never to come back.

🎈yes是增译的语气词,可以理解成对“出去了”的强调,即此处的“悄悄地出去了”不仅指走出了房门,还指母亲离我而去。


 

邻居们把她抬上车时,她还在大口大口地吐着鲜血。

When the neighbors carried her onto the tricycle flatcart, she was still vomiting mouthfuls of blood.

🎈一束a bundle of

一口a mouthful of →(pl形式)mouthfuls of

一皮箱a suitcaseful of


 

我没想到她已经病成那样。

I had never thought she could have been so seriously ill.

🎈could have been so seriously ill:“could have+过去分词”在此处表示“惊讶”,可译为“竟然、居然”。例句:It seems inconceivable that the accident could have happened so quickly.这一事故发生得这么快,简直不可思议。


 

看着三轮车远去,也绝没有想到那竟是永远的诀别。

Watching the three-wheeler go, I had not expected it would be her departure to eternity.

🎈此处“永远的诀别”译为departure to eternity,表达了母亲死去的神圣意义以及儿子祝愿母亲来世永生的心情。


 

邻居的小伙子背着我去看她的时候,她正艰难地呼吸着,像她那一生艰难的生活。

The young man next door carried me on his back to the hospital to see her. She was gasping her last, in just the same way as she had lived her entire hard life.

🎈at one’s last gasp表示“最后的喘息、奄奄一息、临终”,意同gasp one’s last。in just the same way as she had lived her entire hard life.中as作为关系代词引导定语从句,常用结构为the same…as…、as…as…、such…as…、so…as…


 

别人告诉我,她昏迷前的最后一句话是:“我那个有病的儿子和我那个还未成年的女儿……”

I was told later that her last words before passing away were: “I have an invalid son and an unmarried daughter…”

🎈“别人告诉我”中的“别人”并非关键信息,故使用被动语态译作I was told,省去对“别人”的处理。last words通常指弥留前的最后一句话、遗言等,所以在演讲场合,需要提及“我最后想说的事……”时,避免使用the last words I want to say…


 

又是秋天,妹妹推我去北海看了菊花。

It was another autumn when my sister wheeled me to Beihai Park to see the chrysanthemums.

🎈标准的强调句型是it is/was…that/…。其它连接词很少使用。有人认为被强调的成分如果是作状语的时间名词是也可以用when,例如:It was yesterday that/when he left for Japan. 但如果是介词短语作时间状语,则不能用when,例如:It was in 1995 that he left for Japan. 不能用when。


 

黄色的花淡雅,白色的花高洁,紫红色的花热烈而深沉,泼泼洒洒,秋风中正开得烂漫。

The yellow ones were simple and elegant; the white ones, pure and noble; and the purple ones, warm and deep; all were in full bloom, dancing in the autumn breeze.

🎈“the white ones, pure and noble; and the purple ones, warm and deep”是省略句,省略了首句出现过的相同成分。


 

我懂得母亲没有说完的话。妹妹也懂。我俩在一块儿,要好好儿活……

I came to know what mother hadn’t had time to finish, and so did my sister. We should live together happily….

🎈开始懂得…come to know…

说完(话)finish (one’s) words

🎈“也(不)”可用also、too、so(/neither) did sb等表示。

🔥必背词汇

 

pane          cn.窗户或门上的一块玻璃

英义

A pane of glass is a flat sheet of glass in a window or door.

例句

Who broke this pane of glass?

是谁打破了这块窗玻璃?

 

wheel         v.用有轮之物推动(或拉动、移动)

英义

…to move sb/sth that is in or on sth that has wheels

例句

The nurse wheeled him along the corridor.

护士推着他沿楼道走。

 

🔥重点表达

瘫痪be paralyzed

(鲜花)盛开 be in (full) bloom/be blossoming

我的脾气变得暴怒无常my temper became terrible

天上北归的雁阵the lines of wild geese flying back north

把手边的东西摔向四周的墙壁throw whatever happened to be on hand at the wall

狠命地捶打这两条可恨的腿beating my cursed legs as hard as I could

我活着有什么劲!What am I still living for?

冲过来rush up to sb

常常肝疼得整宿整宿翻来覆去地睡不了觉had often been kept awake the whole night with pains in the liver

哎呀,烦不烦? Oh, what a bore!

絮絮叨叨地说着murmured

笑了burst out laughing

豌豆黄儿purée of peas

对……一类得字眼儿敏感be sensitive to words like…

突然中止/停顿break off

永远的诀别departure to eternity

最后的喘息、奄奄一息、临终gasp one’s last

菊花the chrysanthemums

淡雅simple and elegant

高洁pure and noble

秋风中正开得烂漫dancing in the autumn breeze

 

🔥复盘测试

瘫痪

(鲜花)盛开

我的脾气变得暴怒无常

天上北归的雁阵

把手边的东西摔向四周的墙壁

狠命地捶打这两条可恨的腿

我活着有什么劲!

冲过来

常常肝疼得整宿整宿翻来覆去地睡不了觉

哎呀,烦不烦

絮絮叨叨地说着

笑了

豌豆黄儿

对……一类得字眼儿敏感

突然中止/停顿

永远的诀别

最后的喘息、奄奄一息、临终

菊花

淡雅

高洁

秋风中正开得烂漫

 

🔥表达对比

「无常」有几种表达?

 

双腿瘫痪后,我的脾气变得暴怒(无常)。

When my legs were first paralyzed, my temper became terrible.

When my legs were paralyzed, my temper became out of control.

 

我们还需要多少证据来证明世界(无常)呢?

How much more proof does one need as to the ephemeral nature of this world?

 

要是相信制度,就等于让自己承受奖金数目不确定的(无常)命运。

To trust the system is to leave yourself vulnerable to the uncertain fate of an uncertain bonus.

 

但幸运的是,生命是恒常的生死拥舞,(无常)之舞。

But fortunately, life is nothing but a continuing dance of birth and death, a dance of change.

 

尽管英国的确是一个发展风轮机的好地方,但是风力,像天气一样,(无常)多变。

Although Britain is indeed a good place to put wind turbines, the wind, like the weather, is notoriously variable.

未经允许不得转载:帕布莉卡 » 史铁生《秋天的怀念》 -英语翻译教程-中英双语赏析

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