Moonlight over the Lotus Pond朱自清Zhu Ziqing🔥提示：本篇为中国现代文学名作之一，体现了作者很高的语言艺术。英译文的遣词造句着力于传达原文的形象和音乐美，意在从整体效果上追求原文所传达的意境。强烈建议背诵，这篇的语言极具美感，境界极高，是我们所望尘莫及的。（本期和遗忘活动所有的材料中，<只有>这篇让我读完全身舒爽，觉得译者和作者的文笔都美的不可思议。）这几天心里颇不宁静。It has been rather disquieting these days.🎈disquieting是形容词，指“令人不安、忧虑的”。注意quiet虽然是形容词，但disquiet是名词。今晚在院子里坐着乘凉，忽然想起日日走过的荷塘，在这满月的光里，总该另有一番样子吧。Tonight, when I was sitting in the yard enjoying the cool, it occurred to me that the Lotus Pond, which I pass by every day, must assume quite a different look in such moonlit night.🎈“日日走过的荷塘”译作“the Lotus Pond, which I pass by every day”，碰见这种结构（主语+谓语：日日走过）修饰名词的情况，可考虑将定语译时处理为定语从句。🎈“在这满月的光里”译作in such moonlight也可以，such相当于so+adj。月亮渐渐地升高了，墙外马路上孩子们的欢笑，已经听不见了；妻在屋里拍着闰儿，迷迷糊糊地哼着眠歌。A full moon was rising high in the sky; the laughter of children playing outside had died away; in the room, my wife was patting the son, Run-er, sleepily humming a cradle song.🎈上句提到是“满月”，故此处“月亮”译作a full moon。🎈区分rise和raise：rise是不及物动词＆不规则动词（rise–rose-risen），表示“向上运动；raise是及物动词＆规则动词（raise-raised-raised），表示“提起或举起某物”。🎈“闰儿”音译为Run-er，加连词符的目的是为了与单词runer区分开，并体现中文读音的音节。我悄悄地披了大衫,带上门出去。Shrugging on an overcoat, quietly, I made my way out, closing the door behind me.🎈披上（衣物等）shrug…on/shrug on…🎈关于way out（困境的）出路季羡林《文学批评无用论》从困境中找出路find a way out of their predicament柔石《为奴隶的母亲》没有出路；没有法子There’s no way out of it.朱自清《背影》天无绝人之路Heaven always leaves one a way out.季羡林《就像人每天必须吃饭一样》解决方法是 The only way out is to do…沿着荷塘，是一条曲折的小煤屑路。Alongside the Lotus Pond runs a small cinder footpath.🎈英语中，有些倒装是出于语法上的需要，非用倒装语序不可，具有强制性；有些则是为了达到某种修辞效果，如强调、平衡、衔接等。此句译文按A small cinder footpath runs alongside the Lotus Pond理解即可。其中run可替换为stretch。这是一条幽僻的路；白天也少人走，夜晚更加寂寞。荷塘四面，长着许多树，蓊蓊郁郁的。It is peaceful and secluded here, a place not frequented by pedestrians even in the daytime; now at night, it looks more solitary, in a lush, shady ambience of trees all around the pond.🎈译者在翻译此句时，在断句上有细微调整，营造一种身临其境的感觉，同时句子衔接也较为紧密、关联性较强。如果有小伙伴直接按照原文的标点符号断句译作类似“It is a peaceful and secluded path where pedestrians don’t frequent in the daytime, much less at night. The pond is surrounded…或Around the pond is…”之类的，也是可以的。翻译学习前期以译出为主。🎈叠声词的频繁出现是本篇的文体特色之一。此处的“翡翡郁郁”，除“茂盛”( luxuriant）外，由于叠声的效果，还带着一种朦胧迷离的韵味。从上下文看，甚至还透出作者“郁郁’的心境。译文用了lush, shady ambience一语，意在词义之外，借助sh音的重复来传达更多层次的意思。路的一旁，是些杨柳，和一些不知道名字的树。On the side where the path is, there are willows, interlaced with some others whose names I do not know.🎈“on the side where the path is”意同on the side of the path。没有月光的晚上，这路上阴森森的，有些怕人。今晚却很好，虽然月光也还是淡淡的。The foliage, which, in a moonless night, would loom somewhat frighteningly dark, looks very nice tonight, although the moonlight is not more than a thin, greyish veil.🎈这篇文章极具散文特点，无论是中文的遣词造句，还是译文的词句结构（甚至是重新创作），都非常值得品读，学有余力的同学，直接背诵或者视译。这句的译文乍一看和原文并不完全对应，但细读几遍却能感受到文字间流出的美感。译者进行了增译，比如The foliage，从而使“阴森森”的画面更加具体，“阴森森”的原因也顺带告知了读者；再比如a thin, greyish veil对应“月光也还是淡淡的”，如果直接译作dim moonlight，效果则大打折扣，用veil（纱）一词使读者可以更容易地进行类比，从好更好地想象月光洒在地上，像轻纱一样温柔的场景。路上只我一个人,背着手踱着。I am on my own, strolling, hands behind my back.🎈hands behind my back是独立主格结构。这一片天地好像是我的;我也像超出了平常的自己，到了另一世界里。This bit of the universe seems in my possession now; and I myself seem to have been uplifted from my ordinary self into another world.🎈积累量词：一片天地This <bit of> the universe。🎈 I myself…：反身代词myself在此处为强调用法，即用来加强某个名词或者代词的语气，可译成“亲自”、“本人”等。此时，它在句中作同位语，即使去掉，也不影响句子的完整性。同样的例句还有：You must do it yourself.//I myself did the homework last night.我爱热闹，也爱冷静；爱群居，也爱独处。I like a serene and peaceful life, as much as a busy and active one; I like being in solitude, as much as in company.🎈平行结构的多次运用也是本篇原文的文体特色之一。从这句原文中我们可以看到，这一句法结构因其在短语或句一级的重复，非常有效地加强了文字的节奏感。译文利用英文中平行结构的类似效果，力图产生相应的感染力。像今晚上，一个人在这苍茫的月下,什么都可以想，什么都可以不想，便觉是个自由的人。As it is tonight, basking in a misty moonshine all by myself, I feel I am a free man, free to think of anything, or of nothing.🎈“什么都可以想，什么都可以不想，便觉是个自由的人”译作I feel I am a free man, free to think of anything, or of nothing。我们之前强调过英译时大部分情况要补充出逻辑关系，虽然“什么都可以（不）想”可以看作“为什么觉得自己是自由人”的原因，但这里不建议补充出因果关系，否则会太过生硬，整体上和文章的感觉不符。白天里一定要做的事，一定要说的话,现在都可不理。All that one is obliged to do, or to say, in the daytime, can be very well cast aside now.🎈丢弃、抛开cast aside例句Sweden needs to cast aside outdated policies and thinking.瑞典必须摒弃过时的政策和思维。这是独处的妙处；我且受用这无边的荷香月色好了。That is the beauty of being alone. For the moment, just let me indulge in this profusion of moonlight and lotus fragrance.🎈“受用”按“沉浸、陶醉”之意理解译作indulge in…；“这无边的荷香月色”中“无边”按“充盈、大量”之意译作this profusion of。曲曲折折的荷塘上面，弥望的是田田的叶子。叶子出水很高，像亭亭的舞女的裙。All over this winding stretch of water, what meets the eye is a silken field of leaves, reaching rather high above the surface, like the skirts of dancing girls in all their grace.🎈这组句子和下一句的“层层的叶子中间”中频频出现的叠声词和平行结构所达到的音义相映、时空延绵、形象通感，在译文中采用了不同的手法力图取得相应效果。其中，“曲曲折折的荷塘上面”用的是“变语”(elegant variation，即不重复原文的“荷塘”）和头韵（winding ⋯ water , what ⋯）；“弥望的是田田的叶子”着重捕捉触觉和空间印象( silken field )；“叶子出水很高，像亭亭的舞女的裙”从内容、意义着手追求句法的节奏；下句“层层的叶子中间”的译文则借助音律和头韵（如layers of leaves)🎈一片水域a stretch/an area of water，此时water指“大片的水、水域”，是不可数名词。层层的叶子中间，零星地点缀着些白花，有袅娜地开着的，有羞涩地打着朵儿的；正如一粒粒的明珠，又如碧天里的星星，又如刚出浴的美人。Here and there, layers of leaves are dotted with white lotus blossoms, some in demure bloom, others in shy bud, like scattering pearls, or twinkling stars, or beauties just out of the bath.🎈本文描写的是荷塘的月色和月下的荷塘,于景色描写中寄托着自己的真情实感,这种成功,也得益于他对语言的巧妙运用.文章多处使用比喻、通感、叠字等,使得全文语言典雅,充满诗情画意.比如作者连用三个比喻写静态的荷花,“正如一粒粒的明珠,又如碧天里的星星,又如刚出浴的美人”，绘出了淡月辉映下荷花的晶莹剔透,绿叶衬托下荷花的忽明忽暗以及荷花纤尘不染的美质.通感的使用更使文章的语言达到了出神入化的境界.通感就是在描写客观事物时,凭借人们各种感觉间的息息相通,用形象的语言把某一感观上的感受移到另一感观上,使“一种感觉超越了本身的局限而领会到属于另一种感觉的印象”（钱钟书语）微风过处，送来缕缕清香，仿佛远处高楼上渺茫的歌声似的。A breeze stirs, sending over breaths of fragrance, like faint singing drifting from a distant building.🎈“微风过处，送来缕缕清香”按“微风吹拂、搅动了一池荷香”理解，欣赏stir一词的选用。这时候叶子与花也有一丝的颤动，像闪电般，霎时传过荷塘的那边去了。At this moment, a tiny thrill shoots through the leaves and lilies, like a streak of lightning, straight across the forest of lotuses.🎈water lily即指睡莲，不用纠结lily的释义。🎈该句描写的全是刹那间发生的动作，译文采取了不同的表达，如shoot、a streak of、straight等，共同创造出了“一丝颤动”的画面，语言上完全不会使读者感到枯燥赘余。叶子本是肩并肩密密地挨着，这便宛然有了一道凝碧的波痕。The leaves, which have been standing shoulder to shoulder, are caught shimmering in an emerald heave of the pond.🎈肩并肩shoulder to shoulder手拉手/携手 hand in hand叶子底下是脉脉的流水，遮住了,不能见一些颜色；而叶子却更见风致了。Underneath, the exquisite water is covered from view, and none can tell its colour; yet the leaves on top project themselves all the more attractively.🎈“遮住了”即“阻隔了人的视线”，译作is covered from view。🎈展现自己（的风采）project oneself例句He just hasn’t been able to project himself as the strong leader.他根本没能表现出一个强有力的领导者的样子。🎈all the more的用法：中国人不习惯使用这个词组，因为译成中文是“更加”，似乎同英文的more或even more差不多。但其实all the more表示的“更加”，是前后文说出了原因或隐含不明言原因的，而简单的more或even more则不涉及原因。E.g. For this very reason, their recklessness is all the harder to forgive. 正是由于这个原因，他们的鲁莽就更难原谅。月光如流水一般，静静地泻在这一片叶子和花上。薄薄的青雾浮起在荷塘里。叶子和花仿佛在牛乳中洗过一样；又像笼着轻纱的梦。The moon sheds her liquid light silently over the leaves and flowers, which, in the floating transparency of a bluish haze from the pond, look as if they had just been bathed in milk, or like a dream wrapped in a gauzy hood.🎈“泻”译作shed而非pour，相较而言，pour总给人一种“动作过于强烈，惊扰了静夜”的感觉。虽然是满月，天上却有一层淡淡的云，所以不能朗照;但我以为这恰是到了好处——酣眠固不可少，小睡也别有风味的。Although it is a full moon, shining through a film of clouds, the light is not at its brightest; it is, however, just right for me—a profound sleep is indispensable, yet a snatched doze also has a savour of its own.🎈at its brightest ：at its+形容词最高级是形容词最高级的而一种特殊用法，表示处于最高的状态。例句She was at her worst in 2000. 她2000年时处于人生最低谷🎈别有风味has a savour of its own月光是隔了树照过来的，高处丛生的灌木，落下参差的斑驳的黑影，峭愣愣如鬼一般；弯弯的杨柳的稀疏的倩影，却又像是画在荷叶上。The moonlight is streaming down through the foliage, casting bushy shadows on the ground from high above, jagged and checkered, as grotesque as a party of spectres; whereas the benign figures of the drooping willows, here and there, look like paintings on the lotus leaves.🎈“隔了树”实则指“透过树木，斑驳地洒下来”译作streaming down（“自上而下流淌”），更具动态感和层次感。塘中的月色并不均匀;但光与影有着和谐的旋律，如梵婀铃上奏着的名曲。The moonlight is not spread evenly over the pond, but rather in a harmonious rhythm of light and shade, like a famous melody played on a violin.🎈“梵婀铃”取violin的发音。荷塘的四面，远远近近，高高低低都是树，而杨柳最多。Around the pond, far and near, high and low, are trees. Most of them are willows.🎈原文的特殊效果在译文中没能传达出来，但从总体上看，译文在可能的地方注意到了语言的音乐美（如一些长辅音、长元音的运用便是为了弥补类似此处的局部损失这些树将一片荷塘重重围住；只在小路一旁，漏着几段空隙，像是特为月光留下的。Only on the path side, can two or three gaps be seen through the heavy fringe, as if specially reserved for the moon.🎈译文为only置于句首的倒装结构。🎈two or three表示约数“几个”，而非只能指两三个。树色一例是阴阴的，乍看像一团烟雾；但杨柳的丰姿，便在烟雾里也辨得出。The shadowy shapes of the leafage at first sight seem diffused into a mass of mist, against which, however, the charm of those willow trees is still discernible.🎈乍看at first sight/glance🎈against which: which指代a mass of mist，against意为“以……为背景”。树梢上隐隐约约的是一带远山，只有些大意罢了。Over the trees appear some distant mountains, but merely in sketchy silhouette.🎈“一带远山”理解为“绵延的山脉或几座远山”；“只有些大意”理解为“只不过有些模糊，看不太清”，译作merely in sketchy silhouette，silhouette指(浅色或强光背景下衬托出的)暗色轮廓。树缝里也漏着一两点路灯光，没精打釆的，是渴睡人的眼。Through the branches are also a couple of lamps, as listless as sleepy eyes.🎈一点灯光一盏灯，“一两点路灯光”也就是一两盏路灯。一两点a couple of两三个two or three这时候最热闹的，要数树上的蝉声与水里的蛙声；但热闹是它们的，我什么也没有。The most lively creatures here, for the moment, must be the cicadas in the trees and the frogs in the pond. But the liveliness is theirs, I have nothing.🎈此句中的“热闹”用lively和vitality二词译，前者意在呼应上文，后者平衡句子节奏。忽然想起采莲的事情来了。Suddenly, something like lotus-gathering crosses my mind.🎈忽然想起…cross one’s mind/occur to sb/dawn on sb釆莲是江南的旧俗。似乎很早就有，而六朝时为盛；从诗歌里可以约略知道。It used to be celebrated as a folk festival in the South, probably dating very far back in history, most popular in the period of Six Dynasties. We can pick up some outlines of this activity in the poetry.🎈the South即指南方。江南，广义上是指长江之南，一般多指长江中下游南岸区域。从古到今“江南”始终代表着美丽富饶的水乡景象🎈追溯至date back (to)六朝the period of Six Dynasties战国the Warring States Period釆莲的是少年的女子，她们是荡着小船，唱着艳歌去的。It was young girls who went gathering lotuses, in sampans and singing love songs.🎈It was young girls who…是强调句结构。sampans指舢板，是一种木质结构的小船。🎈“艳歌”译作love songs，指情歌，用于男女之间传达情意，并非指商女不知亡国恨所唱的“《后庭花》”采莲人不用说很多，还有看采莲的人。Needless to say, there were a great number of them doing the gathering, apart from those who were watching.🎈不必说、不用说Needless to say那是一个热闹的季节，也是一个风流的季节。It was a lively season, brimming with vitality, and romance.🎈这句译作并列结构，不如参考译文有美感。🎈洋溢着，充满着brim wit例句Her eyes were brimming with tears.她已经热泪盈眶了。梁元帝《采莲赋》里说得好：于是妖童媛女，荡舟心许；鹢首徐回，兼传羽杯；棹将移而藻挂，船欲动而萍开。尔其纤腰束素，迁延顾步；夏始春余，叶嫩花初气恐沾裝而浅笑，畏倾船而敛裾。A brilliant description can be found in Lotus Gathering written by the Yuan Emperor of the Liang Dynasty:So those charming youngsters row their sampans, heart buoyant with tacit love, pass on to each other cups of wine while their bird-shaped prows drift around. From time to time their oars are caught in dangling algae, and duckweed float apart the moment their boats are about to move on. Their slender figures, girdled with plain silk, tread watchfully on board. This is the time when spring is growing into summer, the leaves a tender green and the flowers blooming — among which the girls are giggling when evading an out-reaching stem, their skirts tucked in for fear that the sampan might tilt.🎈“花初”意指“花初开”，译为blooming（在开放），而不是budding。🎈白话文：美艳的少年和美貌的少女，摇着小船默默地传情。船慢慢地来回荡漾着，双方传递着酒杯。桨要划动，却被水草挂着；船要移动，就把浮萍分开了。那细细的腰肢，裹着洁白的绸子，走走退退，不住地回视自己的动作。这姑娘正如春末夏初的好时节，叶儿正嫩花儿才开。你看她边采莲边担心着水珠溅湿衣裳而低低浅笑，又像是害怕船倾而赶紧提一提衣襟。可见当时嬉游的光景了。That is a glimpse of those merrymaking scenes.🎈a glimpse of：透过文字描写，足以瞥见当时的光景了。这真是有趣的事，可惜我们现在早已无福消受了。It must have been fascinating; but unfortunately we have long been denied such a delight.🎈( must have been表示对过去情况的肯定推测。🎈早已 have long been。其中long是副词，意为“长久地、长期地”，其位置在助动词、情态动词后，行为动词或主要动词之前。此结构中，been虽然是be动词，但前面有助动词have，那么been就算主要动词了。例句Bats have long been known to harbor disease.一直以来人类就知晓，蝙蝠可以免疫于疾病。🎈“无福消受”本意是没有福气承受，此处准确来说，指的是我们已经抛弃了这种（旧）习俗，故译作denied such a delight更为贴切。于是又记起《西州曲》里的句子：采莲南塘秋，莲花过人头；低头弄莲子，莲子清如水。Then I recall those lines in Ballad of Xizhou Island:Gathering the lotus, I am in the South Pond, / The lilies in autumn reach over my head; / Lowering my head I toy with the lotus seeds. / Look, they are as fresh as the water underneath.🎈采莲南塘秋，莲花过人头：原文省略了主语（人物），在译文中需要补足，可供选择的有第一和第三人称。选用第一人称，是为了更贴近地刻画女主人公的心理。“秋”移至第二行译作the lilies的后置定语，是为了补足原文意思和平衡句式。🎈“莲子清如水”中“清”作“青”，译作green，此处从原作的引文，译为fresh。今晚若有采莲人，这儿的莲花也算得“过人头”了；只不见一些流水的影子，是不行的，这令我到底惦着江南了——If there were somebody gathering lotuses tonight, she could tell that the lilies here are high enough to “reach over her head”; but, one would certainly miss the sight of the water. So my memories drift back to the South after all.🎈she could tell that是增译成分，让文章读起来更通畅。🎈惦念、回忆my memories drift back to……brings back many memories of……puts sb in mind of…这样想着，猛一抬头,不觉已是自己的门前；轻轻地推门进去，什么声息也没有，妻已睡熟好久了。1927年7月，北京清华园 Deep in my thoughts, I looked up, just to find myself at the door of my own house. Gently I pushed the door open and walked in. Not a sound inside, my wife had been fast asleep for quite a while.Qinghua Campus, Beijing July, 1927.🎈“这样想着”按“深思、沉思”之意译作Deep in my thoughts，一来能说明我的神游精神非常集中，二来正好呼应后文的“猝不及防见房门”。🎈推开门：push open the door或push the door open均可。🎈熟睡fast asleep 🔥必背词汇disquieting adj.令人不安的，使人忧虑的英义causing worry and unhappiness例句The disquiet will boil over in the long run.这种不安情绪终有一天会爆发的。moonlit adj.月光照耀的英义Something that is moonlit is lit by moonlight.例句a beautiful moonlit night.美丽的月夜pedestrian cn.尤指城镇的步行者，行人英义A pedestrian is a person who is walking, especially in a town or city, rather than travelling in a vehicle.例句In Los Angeles a pedestrian is a rare spectacle…在洛杉矶很少见到步行者。lush adj. 葱郁的，葱茏的，草木茂盛的英义Lush fields or gardens have a lot of very healthy grass or plants.例句the lush green meadows bordering the river河畔郁郁葱葱的青草地shady adj.树成阴的英义Shady trees provide a lot of shade.例句Clara had been reading in a lounge chair under a shady tree.克拉拉一直坐在树阴下的躺椅上看书。ambience cn.周围环境，气氛，格调英义The ambience of a place is the character and atmosphere that it seems to have.例句The overall ambience of the room is cosy.房间整体的感觉是温暖舒适。🔥重点表达乘凉enjoy the cool荷塘the Lotus Pond迷迷糊糊地哼着眠歌sleepily humming a cradle song披了大衫Shrugging on an overcoat背着手踱着strolling, hands behind my back这一片天地this bit of the universe超出了平常的自己，到了另一世界里have been uplifted from my ordinary self into another world我且受用这无边的荷香月色好了just let me indulge in this profusion of moonlight and lotus fragrance亭亭的舞女的裙the skirts of dancing girls in all their grace远处高楼上渺茫的歌声faint singing drifting from a distant building肩并肩密密地挨着have been standing shoulder to shoulde一道凝碧的波痕an emerald heave of the pond脉脉的流水the exquisite water更见风致project themselves all the more attractively别有风味has a savour of its own光与影(有着)和谐的旋律a harmonious rhythm of light and shade远远近近，高高低低far and near, high and low杨柳的丰姿the charm of those willow trees辨得出discernible江南的旧俗used to be celebrated as a folk festival in the South六朝the period of Six Dynasties釆莲went gathering lotuses当时嬉游的光景those merrymaking scenes不必说、不用说Needless to say推开门push open the door或push the door open熟睡fast asleep层层的叶子中间，零星地点缀着些白花，有袅娜地开着的，有羞涩地打着朵儿的；正如一粒粒的明珠，又如碧天里的星星，又如刚出浴的美人。Here and there, layers of leaves are dotted with white lotus blossoms, some in demure bloom, others in shy bud, like scattering pearls, or twinkling stars, or beauties just out of the bath.🔥复盘测试乘凉荷塘迷迷糊糊地哼着眠歌披了大衫背着手踱着这一片天地超出了平常的自己，到了另一世界里我且受用这无边的荷香月色好了亭亭的舞女的裙远处高楼上渺茫的歌声肩并肩密密地挨着一道凝碧的波痕脉脉的流水更见风致别有风味光与影(有着)和谐的旋律远远近近，高高低低杨柳的丰姿辨得出江南的旧俗六朝釆莲当时嬉游的光景不必说、不用说推开门熟睡层层的叶子中间，零星地点缀着些白花，有袅娜地开着的，有羞涩地打着朵儿的；正如一粒粒的明珠，又如碧天里的星星，又如刚出浴的美人。🔥表达对比「抛弃」有几种表达？白天里一定要做的事，一定要说的话，现在都可（不理）。All that one is obliged to do, or to say, in the daytime, can be very well cast aside now.合格的就采用，次品就（废弃）。The good ones are used and defective ones discarded.世间有不少的人为了家庭（抛弃）朋友，至少也会在家庭和朋友之间划一个界限，把家庭看得比朋友重过若干倍。这似乎是很自然的事情。Many people forsake their friends in favour of their own families, or at least draw a line of demarcation between families and friends, considering the former to be many times more important than the latter. 有一回他本可以留学去，但（丢）不下立达，到底没有去。Once he could have gone to study abroad, but he did not go in the end because he could not tear himself away from the school.
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朱自清《匆匆》 
爱是一颗心遇到另一颗心（出处+配图） 
