宋连昌《“孺子马”》 -英语翻译教程-中英双语赏析

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“孺子马”

An “Obedient Horse”

宋连昌

Song Lianchang

 

🔥提示:“孺子马”,显然是从“孺子牛”演变而来,文章触及了父母娇惯子女的现代主题,发人深省,具有现实的社会意义。

 

我的邻居老纪,是位消息灵通人士。

My neighbor Lao Ji was well informed.

🎈下次如果见到中文里的“老王/李/…”,也采用拼音的形式。相应的,“小张/李……”也是同样的道理。

🎈“是位消息灵通人士”词性转换,以一形容词well informed(或well-informed)译出,节省了用词,表意也非常准确。


 

每天下班,总要带回几条新闻:大至国内外大事,小到谁家夫妻吵架、婆媳不和……

Every day when he got off work, he would bring several pieces of news from big events at home and abroad down to small strifes between husband and wife, or between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

🎈get off work表示下班,但上班不宜用get on work,直接说go to work即可。

🎈“几条新闻”译作several pieces of news。对于不可数名词,在描述其数量时,要选用合适的量词,如a piece of advice。

🎈from … (down) to…表示范围,意为“从…到…”。

🎈husband and wife、mother-in-law and daughter-in-law:普通名词并列时不用冠词。

🎈不用冠词的情况:

①抽象、物质名词和专有名词一般无冠词,但物质名词、抽象名词具体化,或专有名词泛指时,常用不定冠词,例如:a Mr Wang/a climb/a swim、Physics is a science.
②代数词、基数词作前置定词,不用冠词。
③泛指的节假日、季节、星期前不用冠词。但是季节名词表特定时间或受of…修饰时用the。例如:in the winter of 1948。(有时泛指时间用a+adj+名词。如:have a hot summer。)
④餐名前一般无冠词。但餐名受adj修饰时常常有a(an)。特指时用the。

例如:have a good supper;The breakfast was well cooked。

⑤普通名词并列时不用冠词

例如:soul and heart/husband and wife/day after day/arm in arm/hand in hand

⑥语种前不用冠词。但the English结构用the。
⑦广场、公园、学校、建筑物等专有名词,由“专有名词+普通名词”构成时不用冠词。但the University of Beijing结构和the Beijing station中用the。

 

他发布新闻,是大家都在做饭的时候,地点自然以厨房居多。

The time for his news broadcast was usually dinner time, so the best place for it was naturally the shared kitchen.

🎈翻译过程中应特别注意文化的差异,例如此处的“厨房”一词对汉语读者不言而喻指的是共用厨房,因为如果是独家厨房,就无从广播新闻了。但翻译时如忽视这点,就会使英语读者弄不明白,因为对他们来说厨房往往是独家使用的。因此,译文有必要在“厨房”前面加shared一词,使意思更加明确。


 

这天,老纪进了厨房就说:“老王,你听说了吗?”

One day, Lao Ji came into the kitchen and said, “Lao Wang, haven’t you heard the news?”

🎈“你听说了吗?”译时肯定要补充完整,即“听说什么消息了吗?”,用the news、it、that等等均可。考虑到前文并未提到“消息”,所以心里有所顾忌的同学直接用the news。


 

“什么事?”

“X X X的儿子被逮了。”

“噢!因为什么?”我停住手里的菜刀,惊愕地问。

“What?”

“So-and-so’s son has been arrested.”

“Oh? Why?” I asked in surprise, putting down the knife.

🎈X X X也就是我们常说的“某某某”,由于并未指名道姓,所以英译时也要表达出同样的意思,可以直接挪用XXX,也可以用参考译文中提到的so-and-so,表示「(指叫不上名字的人、物,或泛指)某某人(或事物)」。此前,在叶圣陶的《我坐了木船》中,也见到过so-and-so的用法:“…什么人的本人或是父亲… …You can call yourself so-and-so or so-and-so’s father…”


 

“还用说,犯法了呗!”“其实,那孩子小时候也蛮好,都是家长的过失。”老纪一边淘米一边说,

“No doubt for an offense against the law. The boy was quite a darling as a child. It was all his parents’ fault,” Lao Ji went on while washing rice.

🎈quite a darling :darling具有褒义的色彩,指这孩子讨人喜欢;又,“quite a/an(或a quite)+形容词+名词”具有积极的修饰效果。E.g. It is quite an interesting film/a quite interesting film.这是一部相当有趣的电影。

🎈都是……的错/过失 it’s all sb’s fault

🎈went on:再次提示,“说”在具体语境中要选用不同的词。


 

“你没看,从小就惯。孩子说要星星,大人不敢摘月亮。你想孩子小时不教育,长大能好得了?!果不其然,以后骂人、打架、抽烟、喝酒全来了。”

“He has been spoilt from childhood, you know. If the boy wanted a star, his parents would not dare to give him the moon. You see, if a child is not brought up properly from infancy, you cannot expect him to grow up in the right way, can you? Bad habits such as swearing, fighting, smoking and drinking are the consequences. ”

🎈反问句“长大能好得了?!”可以译作参考译文的形式,也可以直接变成陈述句。对于反问句通常有三种译法:否定句、一般疑问句或者特殊疑问句。

 


老纪的话简直够得上至理名言,我不住地点头,并暗暗地为xxx惋惜,若是他早能听到老纪的“教诲”,也许不至于铸成今天的大错了。

What he said was indeed right and proper and I kept nodding in agreement while secretly sympathizing with so-and-so. If he had heard Lao Ji’s lecture, he wouldn’t have committed such a grave mistake.

🎈right and proper:两个同义词的并列,起强调作用。

🎈“也许不至于铸成今天的大错了”可译作he wouldn’t have committed such a grave mistake,也可译作he would have avoided today’s consequences.


 

老纪讲着,已打点好饭锅,准备切菜。不知怎么“哟”了一声不说了。

Lao Ji had finished washing the rice and was preparing to cut the vegetables when he suddenly stopped short with an exclamation of “Oh!”

🎈suddenly可有可无,因为stop (sb) short词组本身便表示“(使)突然停住”。

例句

He stopped short when he heard his name.

听见有人喊他的名字,他突然停住了。


 

我回头一看,原来他的案板背上用粉笔胡乱地画着些什么。

I turned to see something scrawled in chalk on the back of his cutting-board.

🎈之前,我们见过“转过头”的译法时over sb’s shoulder。此处不建议使用,“回头一看”可能只是幅度很小的甩头,目的也是为了说明目光的转变,译作turn to即可。


 

但老纪一眼就认出那是他六岁的儿子小光的手笔,他默然一笑:“这小子,准是从昨晚的内部电影上看来的。”

Lao Ji recognized his six-year-old son’s drawing at one glance. He then smiled, “That kid must have learnt this from a film he saw. It was a restricted film, not open to the public.”

🎈看到at one glance,我脑子里最先想联到的是“惊鸿一瞥just at one fleeting glance”。

🎈must have done是对过去情况的肯定推测。

🎈看电影可以说watch/see a movie。

look: 侧重“看”的动作。

see: 指看见。

watch: 指用眼睛跟随某物,以便对每一个变化、运动等进行观察。

observe: 侧重以客观的态度进行观察。

witness: 指当场看见,亲眼看见。

 


说着他又细细地端详一阵,才不慌不忙地擦去。

He stared at the picture for a while before slowly cleaning it off.

🎈又见before。英文中,用before或after来拿捏时间上的先后顺序还是很常见的。尤其视译中,根据顺句驱动原则,常将before译作“然后”。


 

刚巧小光手持长矛从外面冲了进来,发现自己的“作品”被擦了,立刻大闹起来:“你干吗擦我的画?臭爸爸!”哭喊着用长矛向老纪刺过来。

Just then his son, Xiao Guang, rushed in with a long spear in hand. Seeing that his “masterpiece” was cleaned off, he flared up, “Why did you clean off my picture? What a beastly dad you are!” he cried, pointing his spear at Lao Ji.

🎈这一句小光的“动作”较多,有“手持长矛”、“从外面冲了进来”、“发现自己的‘作品’被擦了”、“大闹起来”、“哭喊着”、“用长矛向老纪刺过来”,不适合全部并列,所以要适当断句,并注意有逻辑关系的动作之间的衔接。参考译文将句子断成两句,先是交代小光的位置变化,然后完整叙述小光大闹大喊的事件,其中with复合结构和现在分词短语做状语的处理方式值得借鉴。

 


老纪急中生智,抓起锅盖来自卫,口里不住地求饶:“别别,好孩子,听爸爸说,爸爸不是给乖乖做饭吗?不擦掉怎么切菜呀?等我用完,你再画……”

In desperation, Lao Ji took up the pot lid for self-defense. He was begging his son, “Please, don’t! There is a dear! Listen to your dad. Dad is preparing dinner for you. How can I cut vegetables without cleaning the drawing off? You can draw on it after I have done the cutting, can’t you?”

🎈词缀self-:[与形容词,名词构成的词](用于构词)表示“靠自身的”,“由自身的”,“对自身的”,如self-sacrifice舍己为公、self-defense自卫。

🎈“好孩子”译作There is a dear,其中,there be结构用以唤起某人注意,a dear则是对小孩的称呼,这个表达可以理解为“好啦,乖乖”,很应景。

 


“不行!不行!你赔我!”

“那……爸爸明天给你买个画册。”

“不,我不干,你赔我,你赔我!”

“那么,过一会爸爸趴在床上当马,让你骑上玩打仗,好不好?”

“No! That won’t do! You must make it up to me!”

“Well, I’ll buy you a drawing book tomorrow. ”

“No, it won’t do, either. I must get it right now! ”

“Well then, what if I serve as a horse on a bed while you ride on me and play being a knight?”

🎈(那)不行That/It won’t do

🎈(尤指因自己的过失)向…弥补,补偿make (it) up to sb

例句

make it up to him for the awful intrusion of last night.

因为昨晚过分的打扰,我必须对他有所补偿。

🎈在翻译“玩骑马打仗”这一概念时,没有必要拘泥于与汉语字面上对等,应注意儿童心理,避免成人化,故译成play being a knight,既顺应英语的文化背景,又形象生动,便于英语读者理解。

 


大概小孩子都爱玩打仗,小光这才住了手。

This suggestion made Xiao Guang put his spear away, for he liked the idea as most boys did.

🎈the idea即指上文小光爸爸提出的妥协方案。

 


可是这场“以子之矛攻父之盾”的战斗虽然结束了,紧接着又转入了“停战谈判”。

Hardly had the battle between the son’s spear and father’s shield ended when an “armistick tale” began.

🎈Hardly had the battle … ended:否定词及含有否定意义的词在句首,句子要部分倒装(只将助动词置于主语前,谓语其余部分置于主语后)。这些词包括:never, no, not, not only, hardly, scarcely, rarely, little, seldom, nowhere, no sooner…than, hardly/barely/scarcely… when, not until…, at no time, by no means, on no account, in no way, in no case, on no condition, in/under no circumstances等。

🎈书上写的是armistick tale,现纠正为armistice talk(停战谈判)。

 


小光提出马上就骑,老纪说:“爸爸现在正做饭,哪有工夫陪你玩?等吃完饭一定让你骑个够,撒谎是小狗。”

When Xiao Guang demanded to ride the horse right then, Lao Ji replied, “I’m now preparing dinner. I’ll let you ride on me to your heart’s content after dinner. Is that okay? If I don’t keep my word, I’ll be damned! ”

🎈尽情地,心满意足地to your heart’s content

🎈“撒谎是小狗”这句话不宜直译,应考虑上下文的意思,其中“撒谎”是“不守信用、说话不算数”之意,因此不可译为lie,而是If l don’t keep my won!。此处的“小狗”,不可用I’ll be a dog来译。“狗”在英语里的形象与汉语的形象不等,不是骂人话,汉语里“狗”是用来骂人的,两者差异很大,所以只能意译。这里采用了英语的习惯用法I’ll be damned。


 

小光仍然坚持己见,丝毫没有让步的意思。

But Xiao Guang wouldn’t budge an inch.

🎈“坚持己见”和“丝毫没有让步的意思”表达的意思相同,译出一处即可。not budge an inch指不退让一步,更能体现熊孩子的犟。


 

老纪搓着两手,忽然想起:“唉!对了,刚才爸爸又给你买来巧克力,你快去,要不都叫妈妈吃了。”

Lao Ji wrung his hands in the air out of desperation and started to think of a new idea. “Oh, yes! I’ve just bought a bar of chocolate. Run and get it right now, or Mum will eat it all! ”

🎈out of desperation是增译成分,指明老纪因困窘而搓手,使“搓手”的出现更为合理,不会使读者摸不着头脑。又,out of在不同语境中可以有不同的译法。此处,out of意为“出于”、“由于”,后面的名词由具体事物转为某种心态或条件。

例句

out of fear出于害怕

out of habit按照习惯

out of pity出于怜悯心

 


“我不要吃,我要骑。”

“I don’t want chocolate! I want to ride a horse!”

🎈“吃”即“吃巧克力”,译作动词短语eat chocolate或名词chocolate均可;“骑”即“骑马”,译作ride a horse。

 


谈判处于僵局,老纪正束手无策,老纪爱人出面调停了:“哎呀!你那么大人还跟孩子一般见识,饭晚点做怕什么,先让他骑一会不就完了?”

The quarrel came to a stalemate, and Lao Ji was at his wit’s end when his wife came to make peace. “Look at you, dear! So childish! What does it matter if we have dinner a bit later than usual?”

🎈处于/陷入僵局come to a stalemate

in a fix 是俚语,表示「进退两难,处境尴尬,陷于困境」

🎈智穷计尽、无计可施at one’s wit’s end

🎈“你那么大人还跟孩子一般见识”译作So childish!(真孩子气),直白明了,一词概括一句话,意思也没出现偏差,值得学习。

 


像在球场上双方发生争执时,裁判员一声哨令那样有效,

Her words were like a whistle of a referee that settled the dispute immediately.

🎈中文很散,而且常无主语,但我们仍能马上领会句子的意思,英文则不然,该加成分就加成分。该句指的是“妻子的话很有效”,故而补充出Her words,使句子表意完整。


 

老纪立刻回屋履行“孺子马”的义务去了……

Lao Ji instantly went back to his room to carry out his duty as an “obedient horse.”

🎈实施,执行,实行 carry out

duty相关表达

①应尽的义务bounden duty

萧红《当铺》

本来手就应该给我服务。

It was their bounden duty to wait on me.

②当作…用、用作…的代用品、充当…do duty for

顾均正《耳闻不如一见》

以耳代目。

“Let the ear do duty for the eye”.

③尽职、尽本分do one’s duty

④值班,当班on duty

🔥必背词汇

referee        n.比赛的裁判员

英义

The referee is the official who controls a sports event such as a football game or a boxing match.

例句

He was sent off for arguing with the referee.

他因为和裁判发生争执而被罚出场。

 

stalemate         n.僵局,僵持

英义

Stalemate is a situation in which neither side in an argument or contest can win or in which no progress is possible.

例句

President Bush has ended the stalemate over moves to cut the country’s budget deficit…

布什总统已结束了在削减国家预算赤字的措施上形成的僵局。

 

shield        n.屏障,保护物,保护人

英义

Something or someone which is a shield against a particular danger or risk provides protection from it.

例句

He used his left hand as a shield against the reflecting sunlight.

他用左手挡住反射过来的阳光。

 

lid           cn.容器的盖,盖子

英义

A lid is the top of a box or other container which can be removed or raised when you want to open the container.

例句

I can’t get the lid off this jar.

我打不开这广口瓶的盖子。

🔥重点表达

孺子马an obedient horse

是位消息灵通人士was well informed

几条新闻several pieces of news

被逮be arrested

犯法an offense against the law

都是……的错/过失 it’s all sb’s fault

淘米wash rice

切菜cut the vegetables

案板cutting-board

骂人、打架、抽烟、喝酒swearing, fighting, smoking and drinking

铸成今天的大错have committed such a grave mistake

突然停住stop short

(那)不行That/It won’t do

(尤指因自己的过失)向…弥补,补偿make (it) up to sb

停战谈判armistice talk

尽情地;心满意足地to your heart’s content

毫不退让not budge an inch

调停make peace

处于/陷入僵局come to a stalemate

智穷计尽、无计可施at one’s wit’s end

你那么大人还跟孩子一般见识So childish!

🔥复盘测试

孺子马

是位消息灵通人士

几条新闻

被逮

犯法

都是……的错/过失

淘米

切菜

案板

骂人、打架、抽烟、喝酒

铸成今天的大错

突然停住

(那)不行

(尤指因自己的过失)向…弥补,补偿

停战谈判

尽情地;心满意足地

毫不退让

调停

处于/陷入僵局

智穷计尽、无计可施

你那么大人还跟孩子一般见识

 

🔥表达对比

「过失」有几种表达?

 

It was all his parents’ fault.

都是家长的(过失)。

 

He apologized amply for his error.

他为自已的(过失)深深道歉。

 

So potentially, this is just criminal negligence.

因此,这可能涉及刑事(过失)。

 

Can it ever undo the damage?

这能够弥补(过失)吗?

未经允许不得转载:帕布莉卡 » 宋连昌《“孺子马”》 -英语翻译教程-中英双语赏析

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