艾芜《冬 夜》 -英语翻译教程-中英双语赏析

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冬 夜

Winter Night
艾芜
Ai Wu
 
🔥提示:此文边描写边抒情,作者对质朴的山区人民的热爱力透纸背。译文应力求朴实无华,文字中要孕育着深厚的感情。
 
冬天,一个冰寒的晚上。在寂寞的马路旁边,疏枝交横的树下,候着最后一辆搭客汽车的,只我一人。
It was a cold winter night. The street was deserted. I stood alone under a tree with an entanglement of bare branches overhead, waiting for the last bus to arrive.
🎈这几句讲了时间、地点和人物,分成三句译效果比较好。
🎈“疏枝交横”译作了with an entanglement of bare branches。“疏枝”有两种理解,一是树枝数量少,二是树枝光秃秃。单从字面看,个人更偏向第一种理解;参考译文则是结合当时的情景“寒冷的冬夜”,理解为第二种情况,译作bare branches,增添孤寂之感。
🎈“候着最后一辆搭客汽车的,只我一人”译作waiting for the last bus to arrive,省译“只我一人”,因为之前已经提过“stood alone”,此处无需赘述。
 

虽然不远的墙边,也蹲有一团黑影,但他却是伸手讨钱的。
A few paces off in the darkness there was a shadowy figure squatting against the wall, but he turned out to be a tramp.
🎈there was a shadowy figure squatting against the wall:
there be sth/sb to do和there be sth/sb doing的区别:
there be sth/sb to do通常表示动作尚未发生。
例句
There was nobody to look after the child.
注意
当其中的sth/sb与其后的不定式为被动关系时,可用主动表被动,也可用被动式。
例句
There is much homework to do. = There is much homework to be done.there be sth/sb doing通常表示动作正在发生。
例句
There are many boys playing basketball.
🎈“一团黑影”意即“模糊的人影”,现译作a shadowy figure。

 
马路两旁,远远近近都立着灯窗明灿的别墅,向暗蓝的天空静静地微笑着。
The street was lined with fine houses, their illuminated windows beaming quietly towards the dark blue sky.
🎈was lined with:
柯灵《巷》:“两旁还排列着错落的粪缸。……lined here and there with manure vats.” 其中,衬有,镶有be lined with(可用于描述街道等的布置)
例句
Major commercial corridors were lined with brightly painted storefronts that competed for black consumer dollars. 
主要的商业街区两旁排列着色彩鲜艳的店面,竞相招揽黑人消费者。
 
🎈“向暗蓝的天空静静地微笑着”,译成beaming quietly toward the dark blue sky(独立主格结构)比较好,因为beam既有“发光”的意思,又有“微笑”的意思。又,暗蓝/深蓝、浅蓝等是不同程度的蓝色,用相应形容词(dark/light)修饰blue即可。

 
在马路上是冷冰冰的,还刮着一阵阵猛厉的风。
It was icy cold with a gust of strong wind howling around.
🎈冷冰冰的icy cold
🎈“还刮着着一阵阵猛厉的风”译作with复合结构with a gust of strong wind howling around,其中howling around是基于实际情况的增译成分,用于突出风之猛烈。此处也可译作a gust of fierce wind。
🎈with复合结构在句中表状态或说明背景情况,常做伴随、方式、原因、条件等状语。常见形式有七种,with+名词/代词+介词短语(形容词/副词/名词/done/-ing分词/to do)

 
留在枝头的一两片枯叶,也不时发出破碎的哭声。
A couple of withered leaves, still clinging to the branches, rustled mournfully from time to time.
🎈积累a couple of(几个、三两个)的用法,适当情况下可以把several换下来歇歇。
🎈still clinging to the branches是补充语(也可理解为非限制性定语),对主语withered leaves进行补充说明。真正的谓语是rustled。
🎈不时;有时;间或、偶尔 from time to time
例句
She has to work at weekends from time to time.
她偶尔周末还得工作。

 
那蹲着的黑影,接了我的一枚铜板,就高兴地站起来向我搭话,一面抱怨着天气:“真冷呀,再没有比这里更冷了!……先生,你说是不是?”
The shadowy figure, taking a copper coin from me with thanks, straightened up to attempt a conversation with me. “It’s really cold here,” he complained. “It couldn’t be colder anywhere else…. What do you think, sir?”
🎈attempt a conversation with me:attempt sth/to do sth试着做某事
例句
Before I could attempt a reply he added over his shoulder: ‘Wait there.’
还没等我回答他就回头又说了一句:“在那儿等着。”

 
看见他并不是个讨厌的老头子,便也高兴地说道:“乡下怕更要冷些吧?”
“不,不。”他接着咳嗽起来,要吐出的话,塞在喉管里了。
Seeing that he was not too nasty an old man, I readily responded: “It must be colder in the country, I’m afraid.”
“No, no,” he disagreed and began to cough, his words stuck up in his throat.
🎈Seeing that…作原因状语。
🎈“便也高兴地说道”译作I readily responded。注意积累对“说”类似含义的不同表述,word bank不能只有say一个词,要根据具体情况换词:ask、answer、respond、continue、murmur等等。
🎈 I’m afraid:(礼貌地说出令人不快、失望或感到遗憾的事)我怕,恐怕,很遗憾,对不起
 

我说:“为什么?你看见一下霜,乡下的房屋和田野,便在早上白了起来,街上却一点也看不见。”
“Why?” I asked. “In the country when it frosts, you always find the roofs and the fields turning white in the morning, but you don’t see that here on the streets.
🎈turning white:turn可表示颜色、状态、脸色等的转变。
🎈“街上却一点也看不见”译时要补充完整:…看不见覆着白霜”,现用that指代前文已经提过的表述,更为简洁。

 
他捶了几下胸口之后,兴奋地接着说道:“是的,是的……乡下冷,你往人家门前的稻草堆上一钻就暖了哪……这街上,哼,鬼地方!……还有那些山里呵,比乡下更冷哩,咳,那才好哪!火烧一大堆,大大小小一家人,闹热呀!……” 
He patted his chest to ease off his coughing and went on excitedly: “True, true. . . it’s cold in the country, but when you get into somebody’s straw stack, you are warm again at once. . . . But this street, humm, what a terrible place! In the mountains, it’s even colder, but when they have a fire in the house with the whole family sitting around it, wow, it’s heaven!”
🎈“捶了几下胸口”是因咳嗽过于厉害,为了顺气。参考译文中增译to ease off his coughing,使此处更易理解。
🎈(在程度、速度、强度等上)缓和,减轻,减弱ease off
例句
These days, the pressure has eased off.
最近,压力已经减轻。
🎈立刻、马上at once
🎈it’s even colder:still、far、even等可以修饰比较级,意为“还要、更加”。
例句
Tom’s handwriting is far better than yours.
汤姆的字比你的好得多。
It is still colder today than yesterday.
今天比昨天还冷。
🎈参考译文中:(鬼地方)what a terrible place!;(闹热呀)it’s heaven!。如果想进一步修饰语言,可以将前一处换用hellhole(英义a very unpleasant place),与后面的heaven形成对应。
 

接着他便说到壮年之日,在南方那些山中冬夜走路的事情。一个人的漂泊生活,我是喜欢打听的,同时车又没有驰来,便怂恿他说了下去。
Then he began to relate to me the adventures of his younger days一travelling alone in winter nights through the mountains in the south. As I was interested in stories about wanderers and since the bus had not arrived yet, I encouraged him to go on.
🎈relate (sth) to (sb)此处不是“与……相关”的意思,而是指“叙述;讲述”。例如:She related her tale of living rough.她讲述了自己艰苦谋生的故事。
🎈一个人的漂泊生活,我是喜欢打听的→ 我是喜欢打听一个人的漂泊生活(流浪汉在南方那些山中冬夜走路的事情)的。此处容易误解为“我”因着一个人漂泊在外,故而喜欢听别人的故事,从而对译文断句造成误导,翻译此处时注意对原文的理解。

 
他说晚上在那些山里,只要你是一个正派的人,就可以朝灯火人家一直走去,迎着犬声,敲开树阴下的柴门,大胆地闯进。
“When you end up in the mountains at night,” he said, “and if you are a decent person, you can always turn to the place where there is a light flickering and a dog barking. You push open the bramble gate under the shade and walk in without hesitation.
🎈“晚上在那些山里”译作“When you end up in the mountains at night”,其中end up in是增译成分,原文虽无其词而有其意。大家再仔细推敲这句的描述,会发现文字的含义不只是字面的“晚上在山里”,其后还隐藏了“不得不在山里过夜”这一层意思,也就是“这一天最后的所在地是山里”,故增译end up in。
🎈push open the gate或push the gate open均可。
🎈“大胆地闯进”意译为walk in without hesitation,是对文章真正含义的阐释。“大胆闯进”其实就是鼓励来者走进门:别犹豫,(大胆)进门去!

 
对着火堆周围的人们,不管他男的女的,用两手向他们两肩头一分,就把你带着风寒露湿的身子,轻轻地放了进去。
Part the people, men or women, around the fire with your hands and you bring yourself—a cold and wet man with dew—among them.
🎈Part the people around the fire是祈使句的结构,这里的part做动词,指“(用手)分开/拨开(人群)”。又,men or/and women(男男女女)作people的同位语。
 

烧山芋和热茶的香味,便一下子扑入你的鼻子。
Immediately your nose is filled with the aroma of hot tea and roast sweet potatoes.
🎈山芋又叫红薯、地瓜、甘薯、番薯,现译作sweet potatoes。单独一个potato指土豆/马铃薯。
🎈aroma
气味smells
1、描述令人愉悦的气味:
scented candles 香烛
aromatic oils 芳香油
fragrant perfume 芬芳的香水
sweet-smelling flowers 芳香扑鼻的花
2、描述令人不快的气味:
smelly cheese 有难闻气味的奶酪
stinking fish 发臭的鱼
musty old books 发霉的旧书
acrid smoke 呛人的烟
Types of smell 各种气味
Pleasant smells 令人愉悦的气味:
the rich aroma of fresh coffee 新鲜咖啡醇厚的香味
a herb with a delicate fragrance 散发淡雅香气的芳草
a rose’s sweet perfume 玫瑰的芳香
the scent of wild flowers 野花的芬芳
Unpleasant smells 难闻的气味:
nasty household odours 家里难闻的气味
the stench of rotting meat 腐肉的恶臭
the stink of stale sweat 汗臭味
the reek of beer and tobacco 啤酒和烟草的强烈臭味

 
抬头看,四周闪着微笑的眼睛,欢迎着,毫没有怪你唐突的神情。
When you look round you see friendly faces smiling at you; there is no hint of anything like blame for what elsewhere might be considered as brusqueness.
🎈“四周闪着微笑的眼睛”:眼睛其实指的是人们或人们的脸庞。
【补充】借代指不直接将所要说的食物名称说出来,而是用跟它有关系的另一种事物名称代替它
例句
红领巾们(实指少先队员们)参加了植树活动。提喻则指以局部代表整体或以整体喻指部分等,如以bread代表food。
 

你刚开口说由哪儿来的时候,一杯很热的浓茶,就递在你的下巴边上。
Scarcely have you begun to tell them where you come from when a cup of hot and strong tea is handed over to you.
🎈一……就…… hardly/scarcely… when…
否定词及含有否定意义的词在句首,句子要部分倒装(只将助动词置于主语前,谓语其余部分置于主语后)。这些词包括:never, no, not, not only, hardly, scarcely, rarely, little, seldom, nowhere, no sooner…than, hardly/barely/scarcely… when, not until…, at no time, by no means, on no account, in no way, in no case, on no condition, in/under no circumstances等。

 
老太婆吩咐她的孙女,快把火拨大些,多添点子柴,说是客人要烘暖他的身子;
Grandma will tell her granddaughter to feed the fire with more wood, saying that the guest needs more heat to warm up.
🎈“吩咐”译作order是非常不恰当的。句中的“吩咐”就是二人之间简简单单的对话交流,译作tell即可。类似的还有许地山的《落花生》中:母亲把花生做成好几样食品,还<吩咐>……。Mother made quite a few varieties of goodies out of the peanuts, and <told> us that…
 

你暖和了,还不觉得疲倦的话,你可以摸摸小孩子的下巴,拧拧他们的脸蛋,做一点奇怪的样子,给他们嬉笑。
When you are recovered from cold and fatigue, you tend to tease the baby, stroking his chin, giving a gentle pinch to his cheek or making a face to provoke him to gurgle.
🎈此句中“暖和”译作are recovered from cold,是为了避免和上句中的warm up重复,且能同时和“不觉得疲倦”合并翻译,译作are recovered from cold and fatigue,更为简洁。
🎈做鬼脸make a face

 
年轻的妈妈,一高兴了,便会怂恿他的孩子把拿着要吃的烧山芋,分开一半,放在你这位客人的手上。
The delighted young mother will encourage her baby to share his sweet potato with you. The baby will then break it in two and thrust one half into your hand.
🎈“年轻的妈妈,一高兴了”:外人逗乐自己的孩子,说明自己的孩子很招人喜欢,故而妈妈会感到高兴。
🎈“怂恿”此处理解为中性甚至褒义的感情色彩,译作encourage。
🎈trust作动词,指“把…交给…”。
 

如果你要在他们家过夜,他们的招待,就更来得殷勤些。
If you intend to stay overnight, you will be entertained with all possible hospitality.
🎈过夜 stay overnight
🎈“他们的招待,就更来得殷勤些”中的比较级含义干脆译作隐藏的最高级含义all possible hospitality,以显示主人的热情好客。
 

倘若歇一会,暖暖身子,还要朝前赶路,一出柴门,还可听见一片欢送的声音:“转来时,请来玩呀!” 
If you’ve just dropped in to warm up and then go on your way, they will see you off at the gate, saying ‘Please do drop in on us again on your way back.’”
🎈 drop in (on sb)/drop into sth: 多指在计划之外或事先未打招呼的偶然、顺便访问。
🎈see off 为…送行;送别
例句
Ben had planned a steak dinner for himself after seeing Jackie off on her plane.
本已经计划好把杰姬送上飞机后自己吃一顿牛排大餐。

 
老头子讲着讲着,给冷风一吹,便又咳嗽起来,我听得冷都忘记了,
In the middle of his babbling another gust of wind brushed by and the old man began to cough again. I was so intrigued by his story that I did not feel the cold any more.
🎈I was so intrigued by his story that(听得入了迷)是增译成分,原文虽无其词而有其意。
 

突然老头子忘形地拉着我问道:“先生,这到底是什么原因哪?……这里的人家,火堆一定烧得多的,看窗子多么亮哪……他们为什么不准一个异乡人进去烤烤手哩?”
Suddenly he grabbed my hand, forgetting that we were strangers, and asked: “Sir, could you tell me why the people here even do not allow a countryman in to warm his hands? They must’ve got bigger fires in their houses. Look at their bright windows.”
🎈因为年代原因,散文选中文章的很多用词都不能以现代汉语常用释义去理解,比如上文的“怂恿”,比如此处的“忘形地”。“忘形地”理解为:一时忘却了彼此互为陌生人,直接上手拉扯。

 
搭客汽车从远处轰轰地驰来了,我赶忙摆他的手,高声说道:“因为他们是文明的人,不像那些山里的……”
The bus came rumbling up. Withdrawing my hand from his, I answered at the top of my voice: “Because they are more civilized than the mountain people. . .”
🎈rumbling up:分词短语作状语。
“因为他们是文明的人,不像那些山里的……”译成Because they are more civilized than the mountain people…,句子简短,又能增强原文的意思。
 

再跳进通明的汽车里,蓦地离开他了。
With that I jumped onto the brightly-lit bus which started moving on, leaving the old man behind.
🎈With that也可替换为At this/that。
🎈参考译文中“蓦地”之意未明确译出,自己译时完全可以补充完整,译作(very) soon等。
 

但远的南国山中,小小的灯火人家里面,那些丰美的醉人的温暖,却留在我的冬夜的胸中了。
But the little houses with flickering oil lamps in the remote mountains and the intoxicating warmth and friendliness of their inhabitants left a deep impress on my memory.
🎈“温暖”指热情款待使南国山的来者身子暖和,同时还指使其心灵感到温暖,故译作the intoxicating warmth and friendliness of their inhabitants。
 
🔥必背词汇
lamp       cn.灯
英义
A lamp is a light that works by using electricity or by burning oil or gas.
例句
In the evenings we eat by the light of an oil lamp.
晚上我们便在一盏油灯下吃饭。
 
rumble        v.发着轰隆声缓慢移动
英义
If a vehicle rumbles somewhere, it moves slowly forward while making a low continuous noise.
例句
A bus rumbled along the road at the top of the path.
一辆公交车从小径尽头的路上缓慢地隆隆驶过。
 
babble         v.含糊不清地说,兴奋地说
英义
If someone babbles, they talk in a confused or excited way.
例句
Momma babbled on and on about how he was ruining me.
妈妈喋喋不休地念叨着他正如何毁掉我。
 
hospitality         un.殷勤好客,热情友好
英义
Hospitality is friendly, welcoming behaviour towards guests or people you have just met.
例句
Every visitor to Georgia is overwhelmed by the kindness, charm and hospitality of the people.
来到佐治亚州的每位游客都被当地人的善良、可爱和热情好客所深深打动。
 
aroma        cn.食物等的香味,芳香
英义
An aroma is a strong, pleasant smell.
例句
the wonderful aroma of freshly baked bread
新鲜出炉的面包散发出的美妙香味
 
provoke          v.刺激,挑衅
英义
If you provoke someone, you deliberately annoy them and try to make them behave aggressively.
例句
He started beating me when I was about fifteen but I didn’t do anything to provoke him.
在我快15岁时他开始打我,可我并没有任何招惹他的举动。
 
gurgle        v.尤指婴儿发咯咯声
英义
If someone, especially a baby, is gurgling, they are making a sound in their throat similar to the gurgling of water.
例句
Henry gurgles happily in his baby chair.
亨利在婴儿椅里开心地咯咯笑。
 
dew        un.露,露水
英义
Dew is small drops of water that form on the ground and other surfaces outdoors during the night.
例句
The dew gathered on the leaves.
露水在叶子上凝结。
 
hint        n.少许,微量
英义
A hint of something is a very small amount of it.
例句
She added only a hint of vermouth to the gin.
她只在杜松子酒里加了少许苦艾酒。
🔥重点表达
疏枝交横的树下under a tree with an entanglement of bare branches overhead
候着最后一辆搭客汽车waiting for the last bus to arrive
远远近近都立着灯窗明灿的别墅was lined with fine houses
冰冰的icy cold
还刮着一阵阵猛厉的风with a gust of strong wind howling around
一两片枯叶A couple of withered leaves
站起来向我搭话straightened up to attempt a conversation with me
要吐出的话塞在喉管里了his words stuck up in his throat
稻草堆straw stack
(在程度、速度、强度等上)缓和,减轻,减弱ease off
立刻、马上at once
壮年之日his younger days
敲开柴门push open the bramble gate
带着风寒露湿的身子a cold and wet man with dew
烧山芋roast sweet potatoes
一……就…… hardly/scarcely… when…
一杯很热的浓茶a cup of hot and strong tea
把火拨大些,多添点子柴to feed the fire with more wood
做鬼脸make a face
过夜 stay overnight
为…送行;送别see off
毫没有怪你唐突的神情there is no hint of anything like blame for what elsewhere might be considered as brusqueness
 
🔥复盘测试
疏枝交横的树下
候着最后一辆搭客汽车
远远近近都立着灯窗明灿的别墅
冰冰的
还刮着一阵阵猛厉的风
一两片枯叶
站起来向我搭话
要吐出的话塞在喉管里了
稻草堆
(在程度、速度、强度等上)缓和,减轻,减弱
立刻、马上
壮年之日
敲开柴门
带着风寒露湿的身子
烧山芋
一……就…… 
一杯很热的浓茶
把火拨大些,多添点子柴
做鬼脸
过夜
为…送行;送别 
毫没有怪你唐突的神情
 
🔥表达对比
「不远」you有几种表达?
 
虽然(不远)的墙边,也蹲有一团黑影,但他却是伸手讨钱的。
A few paces off in the darkness there was a shadowy figure squatting against the wall, but he turned out to be a tramp.
 
最小的胡同里的房子也有院子与树;最空旷的地方也离买卖街与住宅区(不远)。
Even houses tucked away in very small lanes have their own courtyards and trees. Even the most secluded places are situated within a stone’s throw of business or residential districts.
 
后来在日本,一位日本朋友说他要陪我看看(不远的)一处富人区。
Later, when I was in Japan, a Japanese friend of mine said he would take me to a nearby wealthy quarter and show me around.
 
猛抬头,我看见在离船(不远)的水面上,飘着一只木屐……
Raising my head abruptly, I saw a wooden clog floating on the water not far from my ship.

未经允许不得转载:帕布莉卡 » 艾芜《冬 夜》 -英语翻译教程-中英双语赏析

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