冰心《一只木屐》 -英语技巧与实例-英汉互译实用教程

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一只木屐

A Wooden Clog
冰心
Bing Xin
 
🔥背景知识:冰心(1900年10月5日-1999年2月28日),女,原名谢婉莹,福建省长乐市(今福州市长乐区)人 ,中国民主促进会(民进)成员。中国诗人,现代作家、翻译家、儿童文学作家、社会活动家、散文家。笔名冰心取自「一片冰心在玉壶」。冰心曾于1946年东渡日本,旅居该国约四年。《一只木屐》是她回国十多年后写的一篇短文,追忆当年离别日本时凄婉动人的情景。一只木屐勾起作者一腔离别愁绪。离别木屐就是离别作业战后在日本所结交的苦难中的朋友。他们是老百姓,不是那些引人憎恨的旧军官、官员、绅士。
 
淡金色的夕阳,像这条轮船一样,懒洋洋地停在这一块长方形的海上。
The light gold setting sun, like our steamer, was lingering sluggishly in the harbor.
🎈「夕阳」译作setting sun,set本作动词使用指太阳落山的「落下」这个动作,这里用作分词setting与后边的sun构成名词性词组「落山的太阳」
🎈旧时轮船多为水蒸气驱动,故这里的「轮船」译为steamer,由steam(蒸汽)演变而来。
🎈这里说夕阳「懒洋洋地停在」是一种拟人化的说法,借助环境表达作者不舍的心情,所以这里「懒」并非lazy,应理解为「非常不舍、极为留恋地」译为lingering sluggishly非常贴切。
🎈根据上下文得知「长方形的海上」实则是「港湾或港口」处,所以译为harbor。
 

两边码头上仓库的灰色大门,已经紧紧地关起了。
The grey gates of the warehouses on either side of the harbor were securely shut.
🎈两边on either side of/on both sides of…
🎈securely可表示「牢牢地」
例句
Make sure the ropes are securely fastened.
务必把绳子拴牢。
 

一下午的嘈杂的人声,已经寂静了下来,只有乍起的晚风,在吹卷着码头上零乱的草绳和尘土。
The afternoon hubbub of voices had died down and fitful gusts of evening wind would rise to send the messy piles of straw ropes and dust whirling from the wharves.
🎈减弱,逐渐平息 die down
例句
The controversy is unlikely to die down.
争议不大可能平息。
🎈send the messy piles of straw ropes and dust whirling from the wharves 是send sth/sb doing sth结构,此时send表示「使(快速或猛然)移动」
例句
The punch sent him flying.
那一拳打得他整个人抛了出去。
 

我默默地倚伏在船栏上,周围是一片的空虚和沉重,
Silently leaning on the ship railing, I found myself surrounded by an endless dull void
🎈「周围是一片的空虚和沉重」理解为「我被无尽的空虚与沉闷包围」,现译为I found myself surrounded by an endless dull void。其中,I found myself固定词组表达,并非「发现或看见」的意思,指「自己觉得或感到…」强调的是「感受」,「一片」应理解为「无穷无尽、没有尽头的」,译为endless(无边际的),「空虚和沉重」译为dull void,dull指「沉闷无生气的或(天气、颜色)暗沉的」,void即「空虚感」
 

时间一分一分地过去,苍茫的夜色,笼盖了下来。
Time was away minute by minute and darkness was gathering around me.
🎈「(夜色)笼盖下来」可采用与上句「周围是一片的空虚和沉重」类似的理解方式,按「我被夜色包围」之意译为darkness was gathering around。其中,「苍茫的夜色」的英译略去了「苍茫的」仅译为darkness(黑暗)
🎈文学性比较强的环境描绘一般都很抽象且修饰成分较多,在处理此类表达时英译需要具化而不必追求字对应,重点应放在呈现类似的感受上。作者多借助环境表达感受,借景抒情,所以应把翻译感受及氛围放在重点。
 

猛抬头,我看见在离船不远的水面上,飘着一只木屐,
Raising my head abruptly, I saw a wooden clog floating on the water not far from my ship. 
🎈「我看见在离船不远的水面上,飘着一只木屐」这一句的主干是「我看见木屐」,请注意英译一般是把重要信息先说出,后补充次要信息,译为I saw a wooden clog floating on the water not far from my ship.
 

它已被海水泡成黑褐色的了。它在摇动的波浪上,摇着、摇着,慢慢地往外移,仿佛要努力地摇到外面大海上去似的!
It had turned darkly brown after being soaked in water and kept moving slowly with the rolling waves as if it were laboring out of the harbor toward the vast sea.
🎈「它已…,它在…,仿佛…」主语都是「木屐」,英译合并为It had turned… and kept moving…as if…一气呵成结构完整,可借鉴此类合并重整句式的方法。
🎈「努力地摇到…」译作laboring out of…,labor动词时意为「努力地…」

啊!我苦难中的朋友!你怎么知道我要悄悄地离开?
O my friend in distress! How did you know that I was leaving on the quiet?
🎈「悄悄地离开」译为on the quiet,on the quiet是固定词组,指「暗地或秘密地(做某事)」,这需要结合当时的社会政治环境去理解。
 

你又怎么知道我心里丢不下那些把你穿在脚下的朋友?
How did you know that I was reluctant to part with my friends – friends that had once worn on their feet? 
🎈「心里丢不下」应理解为「很不舍或不情愿地」,译为be reluctant to(不情愿地做某事),遇到此类独有的表达方式切勿因字生义去对照翻译,而应充分抓住其表达核心去转述。
 

你从岸上跳进海中,万里迢迢地在船边护送着我?
O now you had leaped into the water to escort me through the long voyage?
🎈「万里迢迢」并不需要把这「万里」按距离数字翻译出来,其实重点就在表达「路程远或距离远」,译为long voyage(漫长的航程)
郁达夫《故都的秋》
不远千里,要从杭州赶上青岛……
have made light of travelling a long distance from Hangzhou to Qingdao…
 

过去几年的、在东京的苦闷不眠的夜晚——相伴我的只有瓦檐上的雨声,纸窗外的月色,更多的是空虚而沉重的、黑魆魆的长夜;
For several years previously, on those dull, black long nights, as I lay awake with a gloomy feeling of emptiness, the only thing that would keep me company had been the raindrops pattering on the tiled roof and the moonlight outside the paper windows.
🎈「苦闷不眠的夜晚」与「黑魆魆的长夜」合译为dull, black long nights(沉闷黑暗的长夜),并非字字对应但dull(枯燥、沉闷的)和 black(漆黑的)充分表达了这种意境及情绪。又,在英语中,修饰同一名词的两个形容词之间不用and的情况非常常见。
🎈As I lay awake…及a gloomy feeling of都是行文更流畅而作出的增译,更符合英文表达习惯。
 

而每一个不眠的夜晚,我都听到嘎达嘎达的木屐声音,一阵一阵的从我楼前走过。这声音,踏在石子路上,清空而又坚实;
I would hear on every sleepless night wooden clogs clattering past the cobbled road before my building, sounding clear and firm.
🎈clattering与上句的Patterning均是拟声词,很贴切原文的情景。
🎈I would hear on every sleepless night wooden clogs clattering past the cobbled road before my building, sounding clear and firm简化后剩下的主干是I hear clogs +V-ing。此处clatter作动词,后接介词past,表示「移动发出(像硬物碰撞)的响声」。同样的例子还有:She heard him clattering around downstairs.她听到他在楼下咔哒咔哒地走来走去。又,sounding clear and firm是补充语,对「木屐从楼前走过」发出的声响进行补充。
 

它不像我从前听过的、引人憎恨的、北京东单操场上日本军官的军靴声,也不像北京饭店的大厅上日本官员、绅士的皮鞋声。
It was unlike the hateful thudding of Japanese officers’ military boots I had once heard on the Dongdan drill ground in Peking. It was also unlike the clip-clop of leather shoes on the feet of Japanese officials and VIPs in the lobby of Peking Hotel. 
🎈Thudding是「(重摔的)沉闷声」拟声词,这里指军靴落地的声音,hateful thudding即令人厌恶的沉闷声。
🎈「绅士」译为VIPs,应结合上下文去理解,这是一个极高褒奖的词,但作者实际想表达的是「那些因地位而受到特别待遇的人」,所以这种译法更符合作者意图。
 

这是日本劳动人民的、风里雨里寸步不离的、清空而又坚实的声音……
It was the clear and firm sound of wooden clogs worn by the working people of Japan, rain or shine.
🎈此句英译的句式结构,并非按照原文平行处理,而是根据逻辑层次处理成定于从句,类似这样的例子在翻译实践中很多。
 

我把双手交叉起,枕在脑后,随着一阵一阵的屐声,在想象中从穿着木屐的双脚,慢慢地向上看,我看到悲哀憔悴的穿着外褂、套着白罩衣的老人、老妇的脸;我看到痛苦愤怒的穿着工裤、披着蓑衣的工人、农民的脸;我看到忧郁彷徨的戴着四角帽、穿着短裙的青年、少女的脸……
Resting my head on my clasped hands, I visualized, in the midst of the clatters, all those in wooden clogs: sad and haggard elderly men and women wearing short garments under white overalls; aggrieved workers in overalls and peasants in straw rain capes; young men in college caps and girls in short skirts, all looking dejected and perplexed …
🎈「我把双手交叉起,枕在脑后」译作Resting my head on my clasped hands,rest是「放在…,置于(某位置)」,clasp动词时指「双手交叉搂抱状」,这里clasped hands指交叉的双手。这些动词的使用及动作细节的描述值得借鉴,put(放置)及cross(交叉)虽可用,但不及rest和 clasp刻画得生动,翻译实践中词语尤其是动词的选择很重要。
🎈「想象」译作visualize要比imagine贴切,紧扣原文,后面描述的都是一幅幅具象的画面及人物细节描述,visualize更强调眼前仿佛看见的一幕幕真实画面。
🎈「在想象中从穿着木屐的双脚,慢慢地向上看,我看到…」以人物描写为主,「穿着木屐」是这些人物的共同特征,故译文先总述all those in wooden clogs,再分别译出具体人物描写,将(共同特征除外的)其他特征处理为后置定语。
🎈「四角帽」这里指的是「学位帽」,所以译作college caps。
🎈come across固定短语,是「偶然遇到或见到」的意思,如come across something(偶遇某事),come across someone(偶遇某人)。
 

这些脸,都是我白天在街头巷尾不断看到的,这时都汇合了起来,从我楼前嘎达嘎达地走过。
I had often come across them here and there in town in the daytime. Now they seemed to merge together clattering past my building.
🎈「(看到)这些脸」即「见到这些人」,是借代的手法(指的是不直说某人或某事物的名称,而是借和它密切相关的名称去代替,这种辞格也叫做「换名」。其中,用来代替的事物叫做借体,被代替的事物叫做本体)。
🎈「街头巷尾」根据上下文译作in town,已充分传达句意,不必拘泥字字对应。
 

“苦难中的朋友!在这里黑魆魆长夜,希望在哪里?你们这样嘎达嘎达地往哪里走呢?”在失眠的辗转反侧之中,我总是这样痛苦地想。
“My friends in distress! Where is your hope in this dark long night? Where are you bound for in your clattering clogs?” That was the thought in my gloomy mind as I lay wide awake, tossing and turning restlessly.
🎈「黑魆魆」仅译作dark(黑),不同语言的词汇并非完全对等,必要时只能保留核心概念尽可能通过其它方式去呈现类似的感情色彩。
🎈「Be bound for+具体地点」固定搭配,「要到…去」或者「驶往…」的意思。
🎈「嘎达嘎达地」译文转换为名词短语的形式in your clattering clogs,为了表达的方便此类词性的转换必要时灵活使用。
🎈「辗转反侧」英文有对应的短语:tossing and turning,表示辗转反侧、难以入眠。
 

事情过去十多年了,但是我还常常想起那日那时日本横滨码头旁边水上的那只木屐。
All that happened over a decade ago, but I always think of the wooden clog floating on water near the Yokohama wharf. 
🎈「十多年」不一定非得译作more than ten years,此处over a decade也是一种表达方式。
🎈floating on water near the Yokohama wharf作clog的后置定语。
 

对于我,它象征着日本劳动人民,也使我回忆起那几年居留日本的一段生活,引起我许多复杂的情感。
To me, it symbolizes the working people of Japan. It also reminds me of my several years’ sojourn in Japan and arouses a host of complicated feelings in me.
🎈sojourn是在异地的短暂停留,这里指作者留日的几年岁月。
🎈arouse是激起(某种情绪或反应),这里指激起作者对留日那段岁月的怀念及思绪。 
🎈a host of…是英语固定搭配「大量的…,许多的…」例如a host of friends 许多的朋友, a host of problem 许多的问题等。
 

从那日那时离开日本后,我又去了两次。这时候,日本人民不但是我的苦难中的朋友,也是我斗争中的朋友了,我心中的苦乐和十几年前已大不相同。
I have since twice re-visited Japan. I realized on both occasions that the Japanese people are not only my friends in distress, but also my comrades-in-arms. 
🎈「又去了两次」直接以动词re-visit译出,简洁明了。
🎈「我心中的苦乐和十几年前已大不相同」这一句译文并没有照字面译出,而是由I realized that…代替并引出后边的从句,「形」虽作了比较大的调整,但「意」已达。
 

但是,当同去的人们,珍重地带回了些与富士山或樱花有关的纪念品的时候,我却收集一些小小的、引人眷恋的玩具木屐……
While my co-travelers brought back treasured souvenirs of Mount Fuji or cherry blossoms, I came home with a collection of small, nostalgic toy clogs …
🎈「斗争中的朋友」译作comrades-in-arms,指「战友,老战友们」根据当时的社会环境及结合实际情况做出的准确翻译。
🎈「当同去的人们,珍重地带回了些与富士山或樱花有关的纪念品的时候,我却收集一些小小的、引人眷恋的玩具木屐」是在将「别人带回去的东西」和「‘我’带回去的东西」作对比,故增译came home,后接with+n结构,指「我带回去的东西」,其中「收集」由动词转换为名词,藏在了collection一词中。
 
🔥必背词汇
clog          cn.厚木底皮鞋,木屐
英义
Clogs are heavy leather or wooden shoes with thick wooden soles.
例句
clog dancing
木鞋舞,木屐舞
 
linger      v.留恋,不愿离开,继续逗留
英义
If you linger somewhere, you stay there for a longer time than is necessary, for example because you are enjoying yourself.
例句
Customers are welcome to linger over coffee until around midnight.
客人尽可以喝着咖啡逗留到午夜左右。
 
sluggish       adj.懒洋洋的,缓慢的,有气无力的
英义
You can describe something as sluggish if it moves, works, or reacts much slower than you would like or is normal.
例句
The economy remains sluggish.
经济的发展仍然非常缓慢。
 
warehouse         cn.仓库,货栈
英义
A warehouse is a large building where raw materials or manufactured goods are stored until they are exported to other countries or distributed to shops to be sold.
例句
We canvassed all abandoned buildings and warehouses.
我们调查了所有废弃的大楼和仓库。
 
hubbub        n.人群的喧嚷,吵闹声
英义
A hubbub is a noise made by a lot of people all talking or shouting at the same time. 
例句
There was a hubbub of excited conversation from over a thousand people.
有一千多人在兴高采烈地大声谈话,场面无比喧闹。
 
wharf        cn.码头
英义
A wharf is a platform by a river or the sea where ships can be tied up.
例句
We fetch up at the wharf exactly on time.
我们准时到达码头。
 
gust         cn.一阵强风,一阵狂风
英义
A gust is a short, strong, sudden rush of wind. 
例句
gust of wind drove down the valley.
一阵狂风刮过山谷。
 
🔥重点表达
夕阳setting sun
轮船steamer
嘈杂的人声hubbub of voices
乍起的晚风fitful gusts of evening wind
一片空虚和沉重endless dull void
苍茫的夜色darkness
笼罩gathering
(海上)飘着floating on the water 
努力地laboring
悄悄地离开leave on the quiet
心里丢不下be reluctant to
万里迢迢long (voyage)
瓦檐tiled roof 
月色moonlight
嘎达嘎达clattering 
操场drill ground
劳动人民the working people 
风里雨里rain or shine
想象visualize
偶遇come across
街头巷尾in town
苦难中的… … in distress
辗转反侧tossing and turning
短暂)居留sojourn
激起(情绪等)arouse
大量的…,许多的… a host of…
斗争中的朋友comrades-in-arms
 
🔥复盘测试
夕阳        
轮船       
嘈杂的人声  
乍起的晚风    
一片空虚和沉重  
苍茫的夜色     
笼罩      
(海上)飘着    
努力地        
悄悄地离开     
心里丢不下    
万里迢迢     
瓦檐  
月色
嘎达嘎达
操场      
劳动人民    
风里雨里   
想象     
偶遇     
街头巷尾
苦难中的…
辗转反侧       
(短暂)居留        
激起(情绪等)      
大量的…,许多的…  
斗争中的朋友
 
🔥表达对比
「引起」有几种表达?
 
……也使我回忆起那几年居留日本的一段生活,引起我许多复杂的情感。
It also reminds me of my several years’ sojourn in Japan and arouses a host of complicated feelings in me.
有件东西引起了我的注意,引起我注意的是一句话。
And something caught my eye, and what caught my eye was a phrase.
激烈的辩论引起了许多不满。
The acrimonious debate resulted in much resentment.
他激进的言论引起了听众的愤慨。
His radical remarks caused great indignation among the audience.

未经允许不得转载:帕布莉卡 » 冰心《一只木屐》 -英语技巧与实例-英汉互译实用教程

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