谢冰莹《黄昏》 -英语技巧与实例-英汉互译实用教程

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黄昏

Dusk
谢冰莹
Xie Bingying
🔥背景知识:《黄昏》是谢冰莹写于1934年5月8日的一篇散文,当时她因被国民党通缉而从福建厦门避居于长沙附近妙高峰的青山祠里,专心致志从事写作。
最难过的是黄昏,最有诗意的也是黄昏。
Dusk is deadly dull, but also most poetic.
🎈「最难过的是黄昏」的意思是「黄昏最单调乏味」,故译为Dusk is deadly dull,其中deadly与very,现用deadly而不用very,是为了在句中用押头韵,读起来悦耳顺口。

每天吃了晚饭后,我都要和特到妙高峰或者铁道上散步。
Every day after supper Te and I would go for a walk in the Miao Gao Mountains or along the railway track.
🎈回顾人称的排列顺序
单数人称代词:二三一,即you,he and I
复数人称代词:一二三,即we, you and they
例句
You, he and I are of the same age.
例句
We, you and they are all good citizens.
但若是用于承担责任或错误等场合,则可把第一人称I置于其他人称之首。
例句
I and Tom are to be blame.

沿着斜斜的马路走上去,就到了一中后面的小亭。
After walking up a sloping street, we could get to a small pavilion behind No. 1 Middle School.
🎈沿着斜斜的马路走上去 walking up a sloping street

我们是从来不在亭子里休息的,迎着将要消逝的残阳,漫步地欣赏着快要来到的迷茫晚景。
But we never stopped to take a rest in the pavilion. Instead, we would stroll about enjoying the hazy twilight scene before the waning sun disappeared.
🎈「迎着将要消逝的残阳」可按「在残阳消逝前」译为before the waning sun disappeared,比直译in the face of the waning sun自然顺口。
🎈Instead是一个自然的转折词,我们从不休息,而是为了看美景,文中虽无其词却有其意。

几乎每次都是这样,先走到老龙潭,看着被晚风吹皱的湖水,
Usually, we would first go to the Lao Long Lake to take a look at its water rippling in the evening breeze. 
🎈「被晚风吹皱的湖水」在译文中用了主动形式rippling in the evening breeze。

有时也比赛投几颗石子,看谁比谁投的远,还要看着一个个倒映在水里的人影,一群群的肥鸭,一缕缕的炊烟……
Sometimes we competed with each other in playing ducks and drakes while our reflections were mirrored in the water, fat ducks swimming in flocks, wisps of cooking smoke curling up from chimneys …
🎈「比赛投几颗石子,看谁比谁投的远」可按「比赛打水漂游戏」之意译为we competed with each other in playing ducks and drakes。
🎈fat ducks swimming in flocks, wisps of cooking smoke curling up from chimneys为独立主格结构,fat duck和wisps of cooking smoke分别为逻辑主语。

然后,慢慢地走回来。
Then we would walk back home leisurely.
🎈leisurely有「不慌不忙的,慢悠悠的」含义。

由妙高峰到小亭的这一段路,特别美丽,两旁的槐树像仙女似的临风飘舞,雪白的花,衬在翠绿的树叶下更显得清秀、纯洁。
The scenery all the way from the Miao Gao Mountains to the small pavilion was particularly fine, with locust trees on both sides dancing in the wind like fairy maidens and their pretty snow-white flowers set off by emerald-green leaves appearing all the more dainty and pure.
🎈with locust trees on both sides dancing in the wind like fairy maidens and their pretty snow-white flowers set off by emerald-green leaves appearing all the more dainty and pure为独立主格结构,locust trees on both sides和their pretty snow-white flowers为逻辑主语,set off by emerald-green leaves为非谓语动词作伴随状语修饰flowers。

芬芳的香气从微风里送来,令人感到一种说不出的舒服和愉快。
The sweet aroma of the flowers wafted to us by the soft breezes was indescribably refreshing and pleasant.
🎈wafted to us by the soft breezes为非谓语动词作伴随状语修饰aroma。

更有趣的,是当我们在槐树中间穿过时,好像另走进了一个草木青青的仙境,真正的桃花源。
What’s more, in passing through the locust trees, we often felt as if we had entered a fairyland with lush greenery — a real Shangri-la.
🎈「桃花源」意即「世外桃源」,指「与世隔绝的美好地方」,现借用Shangri-la把「真正的桃花源」译为a real Shangri-la。英语Shangri-la一词源出英国作家James Hilton小说Lost Horizon(1933)中假想的喜马拉雅山山谷名,常用来表示hidden paradise的意思。

有时我故意走在后面,望着特的影子在树荫底下移动着,正像看一幕天然的电影。
Sometimes, I would purposely lag behind Te so as to watch his shadowy silhouette moving about in the shade of the trees like in a film.
🎈so as to是暗含在原文中的意思,故意走在后面是为了看特的影子。
🎈「望着特的影子在树荫底下移动着」译为watch his shadowy silhouette moving about in the shade of the trees,watch sb doing sth. 看见某人正在做某事

“特,美极了,我真爱这些槐花,慢慢地走吧。”
“Te, it’s great!” I would say to him. “How I love these trees! Let’s walk slowly.”
🎈「我真爱这些槐花」译文采用感叹的语气,译为How I love these trees!。

每回走到这儿,我总要徘徊很久才去。
Every time when I was there, I used to linger about for quite a long while, reluctant to leave.
🎈「徘徊很久才去」译为linger about for quite a long while。
🎈reluctant to leave为增译成分,我不愿离去。

回到小亭上来,游人都散了,有时也有一两个工人模样的男人坐在里边打盹。
When we came back to the pavilion, it was already empty of visitors. Sometimes a couple of workerlike men would be found sitting there dozing.
🎈一两个工人模样的男人:a couple of workerlike men

对着迷茫的晚景,我们静静地欣赏着。
Quietly we feasted our eyes on the hazy evening scene.
🎈Feast原本是盛宴的意思,此处feast your eyes (on sb / sth)意为to look at sb / sth and get great pleasure尽情欣赏;大饱眼福;赏心悦目

天,是灰色的,由烟囱中冒出来的烟也由黑色变成了灰色;
The sky was grey. The dark smoke from chimneys was also turning grey.
🎈「由烟囱中冒出来的烟」动词「冒出来」转换为介词from,译为The dark smoke from chimneys。

远远地望去,灰色的湘江,灰色的麓山,灰色的长沙城,呵,整个的宇宙都灰色化了,
The Xiang River, the Lu Mountains and the city of Changsha all looked grey from afar. Oh, the whole universe was turning grey. 
🎈「灰色的湘江,灰色的麓山,灰色的长沙城」都有「灰色」,就不用把「灰色」重复三次,译文中转换语序「远远望去,湘江、麓山、长沙城都变成了灰色」,故译为The Xiang River, the Lu Mountains and the city of Changsha all looked grey from afar。

只有闪灼在灰色中间的电灯在点缀着黄昏时的光明,在暗示着未来社会的灿烂。
Only electric lamps glittering against the universal grey were providing some light to the gathering dusk, suggestive of the brightness of the future world.
🎈「闪灼在灰色中间的电灯」意即「电灯闪烁时以一片灰色为背景」,故译为electric lamps glittering against the universal grey,against意为「以…为背景,衬托」。

是一个暖融融的春天的黄昏,我们沿着铁道一直走到了猴子石。
One warm spring evening, we walked along the railway track towards Hou Zi Shi.
🎈「是一个暖融融的春天的黄昏」即「在一个暖融融的春天的黄昏」,故译为One warm spring evening。

路是这般遥远,望过去似乎就在半里以内,而走起来时经过了不知多少的草棚茅舍,还没有到达目的地。
The place was farther than it seemed. We had to walk past numerous straw sheds and cottages before we got there.
🎈「路是这般遥远,望过去似乎就在半里以内」译为The place was farther than it seemed,摆脱原文「在半里以内」等字面意思,以意译法处理,简明扼要。

天色渐渐地暗了下来,大地又被灰色吞噬着,我们没有顾到天黑,只是大踏步地向前走着。
In the deepening dusk, the whole earth was shrouded in grey. Nevertheless we kept walking ahead with rapid strides.
🎈「大地又被灰色吞噬着」意即「四周都成了灰色」,故译为the whole earth was shrouded in grey。
🎈「我们没有顾到天黑」没有直译出,而是通过Nevertheless一转折词来表达。

路上寂静得可怕,除了我俩而外,简直看不见一个行人。
A ghastly stillness reigned. Not a soul in sight except Te and me.
🎈「路上寂静得可怕」即「路上十分寂静」,故译为A ghastly stillness reigned。resign一词用得很妙,本意为「盛行,统治」之意,寂静占据了统治地位可不就是十分安静吗?

“慢点走吧,特,无论如何我们要走到猴子石的,即使回来是半夜了,也没有关系。
“No need to hurry, Te. One way or another we’ll have to get to Hou Zi Shi. It’s OK even if we come back as late as midnight.
🎈「无论如何我们要走到猴子石的」译为One way or another we’ll have to get to Hou Zi Shi,其中One way or another(或one way or the other)和anyway(或anyhow)意同。

慢慢地走,不要辜负了眼前的美景。”
Let’s go slowly. Don’t miss this opportunity of enjoying the beautiful scene before us.”
🎈「不要辜负了眼前的美景」意即「不要错过欣赏眼前的美」,现按此意译为Don’t miss (或let slip) this opportunity of enjoying the beautiful scene before us

特拉住了我,眼睛在望着天边一颗星。
Holding me by the hand, Te was gazing up at a star over the horizon.
🎈天边一颗星:a star over the horizon

“你看,星子都出来了,还不赶快走,太晚了,走路不方便。”
“Look, the star has come out. Why not move faster? It’s getting late, no good for making our way in the dark.”
🎈make our way:前进
例句
After breakfast we’ll make our way ashore and choose an observation post.
早餐后,我们到地上去,选择一个地点,做我们的观察。

“怕什么?有我在这里,什么都用不着怕。” 我嗤的一声笑了,
“Don’t worry!” said I laughingly. “There’s nothing to be afraid of with me keeping you company.” 
🎈「有我在这里」即「有我陪着你」,故译为with me keeping you company。

他又继续着说。“你为什么不是个男孩子啊!否则,我们走倦了就睡在铁道旁边,
“It’s a pity that you’re not a boy!” he continued.“Otherwise, when we got tired, we could lie down sleeping beside the railway, 
🎈「你为什么不是个男孩子啊」意即「多可惜啊,你不是个男孩子」,故译为It’s a pity that you’re not a boy。
🎈sleeping beside the railway为非谓语动词作伴随状语。

或者跑到对面的小山上去,青草做我们的床,白云做我们的被,还有悬在天空中的不灭的灯光,夜莺的音乐,多么幸福啊!
or go up the opposite hill to lie on top sleeping with the green grass as our bed, the white clouds as our quilts, and with inextinguishable lights over us in the sky and nightingales singing sweet songs. Oh, how happy we would be!
🎈with the green grass as our bed, the white clouds as our quilts, and with inextinguishable lights over us in the sky and nightingales singing sweet songs为伴随状语。

偏偏你是女人,到什么地方去都有顾虑。”
Now that, of all people, you are a girl, I’ll be full of inhibitions wherever we two go.”
🎈Now that意即since。
🎈Of all…是习语,作「在所有的…中偏偏…」解。
例句
He went to live in India of all places.
他偏偏要到印度去。
例句
They were talking about women of all things.
他们偏偏要谈女人。
🎈Inhibitions一词作「拘谨」「不自在」解,常见于口语,在此表达原文中的「顾虑」,最为确切。

真的,“为什么我不是个男人呢?”我细细地咀嚼他这句话的意义。
“It’s a pity that you’re not a boy.” I chewed over his words again and again.
🎈「细细地咀嚼他这句话的意义」意即「对他这句话的意义,品了又品」,故译为chewed over his words again and again。

如果我不是女人,我的胆量一定更大。
Yes, if I were not a girl, I would be even more daring!
🎈此句运用了虚拟语气。

到了目的地,我们快活得大叫起来,回头望望被笼罩在黑暗下的长沙城,像一座寂静的古堡,
Arriving at our destination, we could not help uttering a cry of wild joy. Looking back, I saw Changsha lying still in the darkness like an ancient castle.
🎈「快活得大叫起来」意即「再也忍不住大叫起来」,故译为cannot help uttering a cry of wild joy。
🎈lying still in the darkness其中still意为「安静的」。

田垄间的蛙声阁阁,更显得乡村里的寂寞凄清。
The frogs croaking in the fields made the countryside seem all the more dismal and forlorn.
🎈croaking in the fields为后置定语,修饰青蛙The frogs。

在大自然的音乐声中,两个紧靠着走的人影踏上了他们的归程。
Now, against the music of Mother Nature, two figures set out on their homeward journey, nestling against each other.
🎈此处第一个against同样意为「在……背景之中」,第二个against意为「靠着」。
例句
The profits rise was achieved against a backdrop of falling metal prices.
在金属价格下跌的背景下,利润提高了。
例句
On a table pushed against a wall there were bottles of beer and wine.
在一张靠墙的餐桌上有啤酒和葡萄酒。
🔥必背单词
pavilion     n.  (公园中的)亭,阁;(音乐会、舞会的)华美建筑
英义
a building that is meant to be more beautiful than useful, built as a shelter in a park or used for concerts and dances
例句
his first show at the Winter Gardens Pavilion, Blackpool 
他在布莱克浦冬园阁的首次演出
drake     n. 公鸭
英义
A drake is a male duck.
例句
drake mallard.
雄绿头鸭
wisp     n. 〔烟、云、雾等的〕一缕
英义
a wisp of smoke, cloud, mist etc is a small thin line of it that rises upwards
例句
Wisps of smoke rose into the air.
缕缕轻烟袅袅升起。
dainty      adj. 文雅的,优雅的
英义
moving or done in a careful way, using small movements
例句
dainty walk优雅的步态
waft     v. (随风)飘荡;使飘荡;吹拂 
英义
to move, or make sth move, gently through the air
例句
The sound of their voices wafted across the lake. 
他们的声音飘过湖面传到了另一边。
silhouette    n. (浅色背景衬托出的)暗色轮廓
英义
the dark outline or shape of a person or an object that you see against a light background 
例句
the silhouette of chimneys and towers 
烟囱和塔楼的轮廓 
shroud    v. 覆盖;隐藏;遮蔽
英义
to cover or hide sth
例句
The city was shrouded in mist. 
城市笼罩在雾霭之中。 
reign      v. 盛行;成为最显着的
英义
to be the most obvious feature of a place or moment 
例句
At last silence reigned (= there was complete silence).
最后,万籁俱寂。
chew    v. 仔细考虑;深思熟虑;详细讨论
英义
chew sth over: to think about or discuss sth slowly and carefully
例句
Let me chew it over for a few days.
让我考虑几天。
croak    v. 发出(像青蛙的)低沉刺耳声;呱呱地叫
英义
to make a rough low sound, like the sound a frog makes
例句
Thousands of frogs croaked in the reeds by the riverbank.
上千只青蛙在河岸边的芦苇荡里呱呱叫。
forlorn   adj. 凄凉的;荒芜的
英义
not cared for and with no people in it 
例句
Empty houses quickly take on a forlorn look. 
空无一人的房屋很快就显得凄凉。 
🔥重点词组
到妙高峰或者铁道上散步 go for a walk in the Miao Gao Moutains or along the railway track
沿着斜斜的马路走上去 walk up a sloping street
从来不在亭子里休息 never stop to take a rest in the pavilion
在残阳消逝前 before the waning sun disappear
漫步欣赏着快要来到的迷茫晚景 stroll about enjoying the hazy twilight scene
看着被晚风吹皱的湖水 take a look at its water rippling in the evening breeze
倒映在水中 be mirrored in the water
一群群肥鹅 fat ducks swimming in flocks
一缕缕炊烟 wisps of cooking smoke curling up from chimneys
慢慢地走回来 walk back home leisurely
两旁的槐树 locust trees on both sides
像仙女似的临风飘舞 dance in the wind like fairy maidens 
更显得清秀、纯洁 appear all the more dainty and pure
芬芳的香气 the sweet aroma of the flowers
令人感到一种说不出的舒服和愉快 be indescribably refreshing and pleasant
走进一个草木青青的仙境 enter a fairyland with lush greenery
真正的桃花源 a real Shangri-la
故意走在后面 purposely lag behind
望着他的影子在树荫底下移动着 watch his shadowy silhouette moving about in the shade of the trees 
徘徊很久 linger about for quite a long while
一两个工人模样的男人 a couple of workerlike men
欣赏着迷茫的晚景 feast our eyes on the hazy evening scene
在灰色中间 against the universal grey
点缀着黄昏时的光明 provide some light to the gathering dusk
暗示着未来社会的灿烂 be suggestive of the brightness of the future world
一个暖融融的春天的黄昏 one warm spring evening
沿着铁道 walk along the railway track
经过不知多少的草棚茅舍 walk past numerous straw sheds and cottages
天色渐渐暗了下来 in the deepening dusk 
被灰色吞噬着 be shrouded in grey
大踏步地向前走着 keep walking ahead with rapid strides
辜负眼前的美景 miss this opportunity of enjoying the beautiful scene before us
望着天边的一颗星 gaze up at a star over the horizon
睡在铁道旁 lie down sleeping beside the railway
跑到对面的小山上 go up the opposite hill
悬在天空中不灭的灯光 inextinguishable lights over us in the sky
有许多顾虑 be full of inhibitions
细细咀嚼他的话 chew over his words again and again
到了目的地 arrive at our destination
快活得大叫起来 can’t help uttering a cry of wild joy 
笼罩在黑暗中 lie in the darkness
更显得乡村里的寂寞凄清 make the countryside seem all the more dismal and forlorn
在大自然的音乐声中 against the music of Mother Nature
踏上了他的归程 set out on their homeward journey
🔥复盘测试
到妙高峰或者铁道上散步
沿着斜斜的马路走上去
从来不在亭子里休息
在残阳消逝前
漫步欣赏着快要来到的迷茫晚景
看着被晚风吹皱的湖水
倒映在水中
一群群肥鹅
一缕缕炊烟
慢慢地走回来
两旁的槐树
像仙女似的临风飘舞
更显得清秀、纯洁
芬芳的香气
令人感到一种说不出的舒服和愉快
走进一个草木青青的仙境
真正的桃花源
故意走在后面
望着他的影子在树荫底下移动着
徘徊很久
一两个工人模样的男人
欣赏着迷茫的晚景
在灰色中间
点缀着黄昏时的光明
暗示着未来社会的灿烂
一个暖融融的春天的黄昏
沿着铁道
经过不知多少的草棚茅舍
天色渐渐暗了下来
被灰色吞噬着
大踏步地向前走着
辜负眼前的美景
望着天边的一颗星
睡在铁道旁
跑到对面的小山上
悬在天空中不灭的灯光
有许多顾虑
细细咀嚼他的话
到了目的地
快活得大叫起来
笼罩在黑暗中
更显得乡村里的寂寞凄清
在大自然的音乐声中
踏上了他的归程
🔥表达对比
关于「天色黑暗」的相关表达
 
天色渐渐地暗了下来,大地又被灰色吞噬着,我们没有顾到天黑,只是大踏步地向前走着。
In the deepening dusk, the whole earth was shrouded in grey. Nevertheless we kept walking ahead with rapid strides.
“你看,星子都出来了,还不赶快走,太晚了,走路不方便。”
“Look, the star has come out. Why not move faster? It’s getting late, no good for making our way in the dark.”
到了目的地,我们快活得大叫起来,回头望望被笼罩在黑暗下的长沙城,像一座寂静的古堡,
Arriving at our destination, we could not help uttering a cry of wild joy. Looking back, I saw Changsha lying still in the darkness like an ancient castle.
我佩服那守灯塔的人,他每天机械地守住自己的岗位,给予往来的航行者一种光明的指示;假若没有他,这海面将被黑暗所包围,来往的船只,随时都有触着暗礁的危险。
My hat off to the lighthouse keeper for drudging at the tedious task of providing ships with a flashing light lest they should run up on rocks in the dark sea!

未经允许不得转载:帕布莉卡 » 谢冰莹《黄昏》 -英语技巧与实例-英汉互译实用教程

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